bang your face on the handlebars
make your teeth falL out
then come to me and i'll kiss it better
i'll lick your blood
comfort you--consume you
come to me.
i'll MAKE you hurt.
well today it is hazy outside and its bringing me down.
my shoes are still wet from falling in the creek. evenif it was great. i want to go back to that place and jump on those rocks and run across the trees. but i want different people with me. i want someone to hold me over the water and threaten to drop me in. someone that would drop me just for the sheer pleasure of seeing me all wet. sad and stupid i know, but i can't help but fantasize. goddamnit. i think i need to not spend time wiht arjay. im ruined again.
but just the same. i want to go back. maybe i'll see if i can't arrange something birthdayish to go on there. i decided to that the next time i see jordan if a)its not school and b)moms not around, i'll kiss him. just to get it out of my system
i almost feel like going for a walk or going to the pool.
i need to get away from these fuckers that are here too. ugh. i hate my brother and his friends. he always seems to gravitate towards the kinds of people i just CANNOT stand.
well i am drownign myself in music and chocolate, so i feel a bit better. but not by much. i still need real food, which we severely lack here. oh well. mom said we needed to go grocery shopping. are we low on milk yet...?
amanda