i realized that having an extended period of time away from someone can help you get over them. last year, i only had one 1/2 months to put up with the person i wanted to get rid of. then i was completely free for three months and when i returned, he was nice and all had been forgotten. but this year, it happened in november, and i was constantly reminded for 7 months. with all that other shit thrown in with her... and being around him every single motherfucking day, it was nearly impossible to forget it. but now... well now i'm not sure. i know i havent forgotten, but my thoughts aren't centered on him anymore, which, for me is REALLY good. i am a little angry with them about this whole thing still.... and i still really want to tell paul about friday and the movies and this mystery guy... but with jordan... i feel like i don't care really very much about whether we really do get to hang out this summer or if he goes to granger. i still care ALOT... a sickening amount, if him and arjay get together and do stuff again. but otherwise.. i'm just bored. i want to find something to do and someone to talk to. main focus currently is warped tour. i wonder... probably no fucking chance i'd get to go by myself with how mom is, but maybe i COULD ask eric. i dontknow. i just REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go. yay me! im "not caring"