well... the last couple days have certainly been interesting. did nothing yesterday. got left alone, except for a little episdode i had where tony was being a faggot and so i kicked him as hard as i possibly could and he cried and i wanted to hurt him REALLY REALLY bad, but i just kicked him and he looked at me and screamed "I WISH YOU WOULD DIE!!!!!!" and at that point i fully agreed with him. then i went in my room and pretended to be dead. mom got all pissed but calmed down when we went to get maria. she likes my hair too. she loved her lumpy. we took her home then came back and watched national treasure. we were all up past 2 i think. i got bored and painted my nails and do what i do alot when i am bored... which is put on "pretty" clothes and accesorize myself and see how interesting i can look before losing the goth/punkness and just being slutty. i looked classy which was scary. but i guess thats what you get with alot of rings and dangly diamond earings and white silk and pearls. haha. im such a dork. woke up before anyone else and did nothing... then the hutchings called and we wents wimming with them again. sadness.... no bockers this week. oh well. god i want them. baaad. wandered the pool with liz and maria. then we came home and mom got mad at me because i couldnt hear her tell me to get shit out of the fucking dryer, so she told me to go to bed,a nd i got my shit and then went in my room and cried and tried to sleep. she apologized and i tried not to look at her or let her see my cheeks. tony woke me up and i got all pissed because i didnt really want to go to la frontera to eat with ppl. but i did. i came out and mom asked me if i felt any better and i told her i just wanted to cry and did... i hate when i have days where i just want to cry and actually can... which today was one of. so i cried as quietly as i could in the car... and when we got to 4th south there was big black billowy smoke. went inside and the smell got bad. we could smell sulfur and mom and ahma and the waitress and joan thought it probably was a meth house that blew up (haha METH=mary, elizabeth, timothy hutchings LMAO) then we went outside to look. came back in and ate and sang along to the juke box and embarrassed joan. got home and i had a fucking text from arjay. hm. oh well. it was sent right after we left, so she wasnt on anymore. oh well if it gets worked out, it does. if not, oh well. i am just sick of so much shit from all these fucking ppl in my life.