I feel so down on myself today. it sucks. I had "nobody" to talk to all day. ArJay is still not talking to me. Probably because I didn't answer her fucking text last night WHEN she sent it. But, it is hard to do so when you don't have your goddamned phone with you. Zeros is on. I'd love to "yell" at him and curse and tell him everything he told me and make him feel how he made me feel, but i don't want to fucking talk to him. I hreally really really really really don't. I wish hewas fucking dead. Then life would be easy. I wish alot of people were dead. But life doesn't work like that. We can't make wishes on stars and birthday candles and actually have the satisfaction of having them come true. I am almost happy taht I have only three weeks of this endless boredom left. Except, that after this, there is 10 months of hell. school and friends and "friends" and classes and fights and unimaginable hell. I truly h ate life at the moment. I need an escape. The closest thing will be tomorrow at Rage. If even near at all. This is the first summer since 2001 that i haven't left home... left this piss poor evil fuckng state. **************** Tomorrow you'll be saying goodbye. And I'll be wishing that you were gone. I wish you would fucking die. Wishes never work, you know? Why waste the breath on stars and candles? Why waste the energy to wish for something taht will never come true. The world is sick and twisted, just like us. Twisted up in pointless beliefs and war I just can't bear to look anymore. I just wish you were all gone. I wish the world would die. But I can't do a fucking thing about it. I just sit here and fall into the wishing world like such stupid little girl.