ArJay: you are in big trouble chat_bac_gurl_16: why ArJay: jk chat_bac_gurl_16: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: did you get to go somewhere ArJay: no ArJay: i fell asleep and woke up sicker chat_bac_gurl_16: oh. fun ArJay: TAG ME GD chat_bac_gurl_16: how do i tag you? i dont get it! ArJay: you get on to the tagged thingy. then you click on your team, then you click on meh, then you tag me chat_bac_gurl_16: ok.. ArJay: watsuip ArJay: have u talked to it today chat_bac_gurl_16: nothing much. chat_bac_gurl_16: no chat_bac_gurl_16: i finally got my lazy arse up and made myself food for once today ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: how bout you? ArJay: i didnt make any food, unless pouring cereal in bowl is making it chat_bac_gurl_16: oh... i made sandwiches nummy nummy in my tummy ArJay: oh chat_bac_gurl_16: it is weird and confused me because i have to scroll to the right to see anything on the tag thing ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: did you get mytags? ArJay: i dont know. i dont have an email chat_bac_gurl_16: oh chat_bac_gurl_16: it told me it sent so... ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: yep. i am out of soda ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: have you talked to it today ArJay: no brb chat_bac_gurl_16: ok ArJay: back chat_bac_gurl_16: ok ArJay: is it on chat_bac_gurl_16: no i dont think so ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: nope he's not ArJay: ok ArJay: my window isnt flashing orange chat_bac_gurl_16: for this one? ArJay: ya. o wel chat_bac_gurl_16: i guess. sometimes mine flashes dark and light blue.. ArJay: mine jsut isnt flashing chat_bac_gurl_16: oh. huh. ArJay: ya chat_bac_gurl_16: i wish the weather would get better. it brings me down. ArJay: how do you love him? chat_bac_gurl_16: i dont really understand that question... ArJay: brb keep typing chat_bac_gurl_16: in what ways can someone be loved...? chat_bac_gurl_16: i dunno maybe i am just stupid... chat_bac_gurl_16: how did YOU love him? that might help me answer ArJay: nvm ArJay: its a hard ? to explain chat_bac_gurl_16: ok...i do want to answer it... i'm just not sure how ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: uh... very deeply and emotionally ArJay: ok... chat_bac_gurl_16: i knew that was a dumb way to answer ArJay: like what about him chat_bac_gurl_16: i guess kind of physically too... i loved his eyes, the way he looked at me, his words, his hands... his voice... the way he talked to me and listened... ArJay: so slow... chat_bac_gurl_16: i was thinking ArJay: o ArJay: what about his hands? chat_bac_gurl_16: im not sure... ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: they seemed to go with mine really well... ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: this is really really stupid but kind of like puzzle pieces... ArJay: ok... chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah i know... ArJay: did he use hands ArJay: did he? chat_bac_gurl_16: lol.. thats the question that got me in trouble... somewhat ArJay: it is? chat_bac_gurl_16: yep you asked me and i wrote you a note and he saw it and... yeah..... chat_bac_gurl_16: the somewhat is the answer to your question ArJay: o yeah! sry. but i forgot chat_bac_gurl_16: its ok ArJay: what does somewhat mean chat_bac_gurl_16: like... he wasn't touching feeling me up, but like he would touch my back and my neck, face, and waist... ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: what about for you? ArJay: meh. everywhere chat_bac_gurl_16: i sort of figured ArJay: wats that sposed to mean chat_bac_gurl_16: just that that's the answer i expected from you ArJay: yeah but y did u expect it chat_bac_gurl_16: not sure... ArJay: well there has to be a reason chat_bac_gurl_16: just a sec i am looking in archives ArJay: ok.. ArJay: we never talked about it tho lol chat_bac_gurl_16: you said something chat_bac_gurl_16: not about hands but part of why i expected that answer ArJay: wat did i say chat_bac_gurl_16: it was when you got mad at him once and went ew he kissed my stomach and arm ArJay: oh ArJay: but if he never used hands like that on you but he did on me what made you think that chat_bac_gurl_16: i think partially the fact that it was you and not me n/o ArJay: what do you mean about that (none tooken) chat_bac_gurl_16: like you are more out there than i am chat_bac_gurl_16: and not so introverted or afraid ArJay: brb chat_bac_gurl_16: k ArJay: back ArJay: but still chat_bac_gurl_16: oh yeah and cuz even before the shirt comment you made about it already being up you said you'd done more than us ArJay: o ArJay: in his eyes or urs chat_bac_gurl_16: yours chat_bac_gurl_16: you said you had chat_bac_gurl_16: i think that's what you asked... ArJay: oh ArJay: no YOUR opinio or HIS opinion was i referring to chat_bac_gurl_16: mine chat_bac_gurl_16: my mind went horrifying places that day ArJay: o. like what chat_bac_gurl_16: well... after making out there are only so many places left to go ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: ya.... chat_bac_gurl_16: and i mean i know that you say it is personal but it bothers me really bad that i dont know how much more you did ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: in retrospect... i was really strangely angry when you said that. ArJay: y chat_bac_gurl_16: jealous... i felt like i had been ignored... ArJay: o ArJay: y jealous? hes not great chat_bac_gurl_16: not great how ArJay: at stuff ArJay: anyways chat_bac_gurl_16: right..... ArJay: huh? chat_bac_gurl_16: to your "stuff" ArJay: hes not good at it ArJay: he's not good at it chat_bac_gurl_16: i read ArJay: i didnt know if i clicked send before i xed out... and i dont like my archiving coz there are too many messages saved chat_bac_gurl_16: with me.....and i know i have nothing to compare him to... but i didnt think there was anything bad... chat_bac_gurl_16: see, and stuff sent my mind flying places... ArJay: huh? ArJay: "see,"? chat_bac_gurl_16: nvm the see ArJay: ok.. ArJay: what went flying chat_bac_gurl_16: my mind ArJay: went went flying thru chat_bac_gurl_16: bases ArJay: bases? chat_bac_gurl_16: 1st 2nd those bases ArJay: what are those (i dont use bases...) chat_bac_gurl_16: i'm not totally sure waht they are either. chat_bac_gurl_16: i think first is frenching, second is petting, third is... im not sure....fourth is all the way.... ArJay: no i dont think that is first ArJay: i dont know tho ArJay: im not a "baser" chat_bac_gurl_16: neither do i chat_bac_gurl_16: it is just the easiest way to put it sometimes ArJay: o ArJay: well what do you mean by bases flew thru ArJay: my brain tries not to analyze anymore chat_bac_gurl_16: i didnt know how far you'd gotten w/ eachother and it was personal so i decided not to pry and pry and pry but because you said it was personal... that made the unknowing worse.. chat_bac_gurl_16: and it is so stupid ArJay: what were yout hinking it might have been chat_bac_gurl_16: all the way. ArJay: ew chat_bac_gurl_16: see that's what happens to me when i don't have a stopping point.my mind goes through any and all possiblity chat_bac_gurl_16: possibilities* ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: yea... ArJay: jordan doesnt like to be dominant and iw ont do anything with him chat_bac_gurl_16: that is present/future tense. what about past? ArJay: past too, i would never do anything because i made him be dominant chat_bac_gurl_16: ok... chat_bac_gurl_16: he was fine being dominant before... ArJay: not with me lol chat_bac_gurl_16: again n/o but again that's a "you" thing. chat_bac_gurl_16: you don't give off a subdued vibe. ArJay: what do you mean/. ArJay: by the "you thing" ArJay: and stuff.. chat_bac_gurl_16: you dont seem like the kind of person that would want to be the follower ina relationship ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: you act very dominant ArJay: yeah but i like to be dominated over too chat_bac_gurl_16: apparently. but usually you dont ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: like the day we went to his house. you were being the boss ArJay: but not with intimate stuff ArJay: i refuse to chat_bac_gurl_16: ok ArJay: huh chat_bac_gurl_16: is that a question huh or just a huh ? ArJay: huh? chat_bac_gurl_16: id you mean the first huh to be a question or no? ArJay: its a queastion chat_bac_gurl_16: oh. it was just an "ok" to you saying you dont like to be dominant with intimacy chat_bac_gurl_16: but nobody can ever say i moved too fast. because he did everything first. ArJay: yeah i like them to do things to me and me go along with it chat_bac_gurl_16: i think it is a girl thing ArJay: dont kno chat_bac_gurl_16: i've known alot of people that were like that w/ a guy. off the top of my head i think of 6 chat_bac_gurl_16: so ArJay: o ArJay: like i dont mind asking them out or talking about htings, but i dont want to be blamed for "pushing" them ever so i wait chat_bac_gurl_16: oh chat_bac_gurl_16: he can't ever say i pushed him chat_bac_gurl_16: he kissed me first, held my hand first, hugged me first, said i love you first... ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah ArJay: after u broke up did he talk to you about whether he really loved u or nto chat_bac_gurl_16: no. chat_bac_gurl_16: he hardly talked to me at all chat_bac_gurl_16: for a long time chat_bac_gurl_16: i never got any kind of closure chat_bac_gurl_16: not in my perspective anyway ArJay: o ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah. chat_bac_gurl_16: i was shocked one day though. apparently kaleb learned something last year and passed it on to him ArJay: which was... chat_bac_gurl_16: dont go too fast ArJay: o ArJay: he told jordant hat? chat_bac_gurl_16: yep ArJay: really truly? jordan told you that kaleb said that? chat_bac_gurl_16: i swera chat_bac_gurl_16: it was the day we were walking home and he said it and i nearly fell over ArJay: o ArJay: was that the day u first kissed/made out chat_bac_gurl_16: no ArJay: after?or before? chat_bac_gurl_16: this is really sick but i have all the dates in my head. it was way before chat_bac_gurl_16: of like...everything... ArJay: o ArJay: anyways, did he ever have his hands in your shirt or always outside chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah once ArJay: where? chat_bac_gurl_16: on my back and on my stomach. ArJay: o ArJay: gosh usually he is on at about 10:00 chat_bac_gurl_16: oh chat_bac_gurl_16: im sry chat_bac_gurl_16: but like i said... he never tried anything MAJOR with is hands. ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah... kind of pathetic... ArJay: wat do u mean ArJay: did you want him to? chat_bac_gurl_16: kind of yeah..... ArJay: you should have moved his hands or asked him to or told him it was ok if he did chat_bac_gurl_16: i know. ArJay: you still could... chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah but sometimes he gets to anyway chat_bac_gurl_16: whether itell him to or not ArJay: he gets to? touch you there? chat_bac_gurl_16: not there. chat_bac_gurl_16: but like in dance, the "cuddle" step the girl is up against the guy and he is holding her to him ArJay: o. see y i refuse to dance? chat_bac_gurl_16: lol... yeah i guess i do chat_bac_gurl_16: what is weird is i dunno if he just really likes to do the dance right or why it matters at all... but sometimes in some of the dances if i dont hold his hand the whole time i'm supposed to, he takes it chat_bac_gurl_16: then there's the charleston. ::shudder:: ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: you have no idea how much i HATE that freaking dance chat_bac_gurl_16: hard to beleive they made it up in the 1920s ArJay: ok... chat_bac_gurl_16: anyway ArJay: i dont kno that one chat_bac_gurl_16: it is evil. ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: i felt so bad for one of the girls the day we learned the pull through. chat_bac_gurl_16: feltbad for the TA too... chat_bac_gurl_16: but yeah. chat_bac_gurl_16: dance gets boring. too many dances to keep track of ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: but..... part of that whole thing is the fact that i like his hands. ArJay: u r typing alot ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: no... ireally wasnt... ArJay: haha u should read my tagged diary chat_bac_gurl_16: ok.. ArJay: its lameo chat_bac_gurl_16: you think yours is bad? (i havent gotten there yet) read my blog thingy ArJay: k chat_bac_gurl_16: not there i have to find where it is at chat_bac_gurl_16: http://www.sitdiary.net/lillithrysa chat_bac_gurl_16: you're stuck in a religious bubble? ArJay: yes chat_bac_gurl_16: ok...? how? ArJay: utah chat_bac_gurl_16: oh chat_bac_gurl_16: duh ArJay: lol chat_bac_gurl_16: have you looked at the lillithrysa thing? ArJay: i am right no chat_bac_gurl_16: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: its mostly the first one on there that is lame, but funny... ArJay: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah stupid chat_bac_gurl_16: i'm so lame ArJay: ok ArJay: im reading it chat_bac_gurl_16: you should get the joel one... ArJay: ok... chat_bac_gurl_16: "joel"? nm i was tired ArJay: i didnt see a joel thing chat_bac_gurl_16: oh. huh. ArJay: you thought kyle is fake? chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah chat_bac_gurl_16: thought. ArJay: you thought me and jordan were fucking.lol chat_bac_gurl_16: yep chat_bac_gurl_16: i told you ArJay: i kno but i just read it chat_bac_gurl_16: i love that site it is very interesting ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: people talk about really weird stuff ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: is something wrong...? ArJay: no ArJay: just like reading chat_bac_gurl_16: ok. i'm sorry if any of that offended you chat_bac_gurl_16: i have another one, but it is a little meaner and confusing to everyone and definitely showcases my mood-swingyness ArJay: i find it entertaining ArJay: you have private entries chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah. lemme go see what they are... chat_bac_gurl_16: cradle is a poem... i dont know why that one is private ArJay: ok.. chat_bac_gurl_16: i unprivated it if you wantto read it ArJay: ko i need url chat_bac_gurl_16: oh it is the same one u were at http://www.sitdiary.com/lillithrysa chat_bac_gurl_16: the title of the entry is cradle ArJay: im hungry brb chat_bac_gurl_16: ok ArJay: back chat_bac_gurl_16: ok chat_bac_gurl_16: my mom is at the sink doing something...hm... oh she is getting cereal ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: yeah ArJay: could you picture me having sex with ANYONE at ALL? chat_bac_gurl_16: i can easily picture anyone having sex with anyone chat_bac_gurl_16: but yeah.. i kind of can. chat_bac_gurl_16: can/could i dunno ArJay: what do you mean chat_bac_gurl_16: i dont know ArJay: like do you think i would do it ArJay: o ArJay: coz like tha thing with jordan chat_bac_gurl_16: i dont know. i mean, i don't really think you would, but sometimes... you never nkow chat_bac_gurl_16: that...yeah... i guess not... but... chat_bac_gurl_16: i dunno. ArJay: o ArJay: i want new pix for my tagged chat_bac_gurl_16: anyone could do anything w/ anyone if they wanted to. i dont know... my mind works in sick and demented ways. chat_bac_gurl_16: ok ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: weird iknow... but with the "its personal" and "we did more" could you even possibly understand any part of where i came from? ArJay: ya ArJay: but me with it... chat_bac_gurl_16: i know... ArJay: muahaha i gave you props chat_bac_gurl_16: ok...what are props? ArJay: lol things chat_bac_gurl_16: ok... ArJay: do u think jordan will join tagged chat_bac_gurl_16: did you invite him chat_bac_gurl_16: probably chat_bac_gurl_16: you are the only person on my tag team. i am just kind of blah w/ it ArJay: i invited him chat_bac_gurl_16: does he ever check his mail? ArJay: ya chat_bac_gurl_16: probly then chat_bac_gurl_16: hm... i wonder what guy stares at me in teh hall... ArJay: who stares at you chat_bac_gurl_16: i dont know.. chat_bac_gurl_16: kim told me to take a weird quiz so i did. ArJay: who says ppl stare at u chat_bac_gurl_16: Who will give you an orgasm? by leslie13NameAgeVirgin?So, who will make you moan?That guy staring at you in the hall... How?Intercourse. Will it be good?Well, duh. You lamer. chat_bac_gurl_16: the quiz chat_bac_gurl_16: i am scared chat_bac_gurl_16: kim is evil ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: eee anyway ArJay: ya chat_bac_gurl_16: what were we talkinga bout...? ArJay: i dont kno chat_bac_gurl_16: me either. i could scroll but oh well ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: yep yep ArJay: la chat_bac_gurl_16: i think i'm getting a little tired chat_bac_gurl_16: ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: haha my computer thinks it is 2 pm ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: poophead never got on ArJay: i kno chat_bac_gurl_16: i am kind of mad...b ut considering it was fake... eh. chat_bac_gurl_16: ahh. ArJay: ok... wat was fake chat_bac_gurl_16: the whole "joel" saying he'd do somethign to me chat_bac_gurl_16: andhim going "Well i wouldnt really care" ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: yep. chat_bac_gurl_16: haha hte up arrow shot me up a ton of lines and it's at where you told me to tell him to touch me. chat_bac_gurl_16: god why do i think that is funny? ArJay: i dono chat_bac_gurl_16: i need to calm down. i am hypertired. i hate it. ArJay: lol chat_bac_gurl_16: we have had a very interesting convo today. haha. ArJay: lol ArJay: you should see my siggy on yahoo. chat_bac_gurl_16: your siggy? ArJay: signature. check ur mail chat_bac_gurl_16: k chat_bac_gurl_16: very interesting. i take it they are MCR lyrics? ArJay: yepo chat_bac_gurl_16: lol ArJay: they are evil obsessed lover lyrics chat_bac_gurl_16: lol. chat_bac_gurl_16: i like them ArJay: yep. they are some of the best chat_bac_gurl_16: what song is it from ArJay: it is from demolition lovers. chat_bac_gurl_16: cool chat_bac_gurl_16: I'M ONTO YOU IM ONTO YOU I'M ONTO YOU I'M ONTO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! ArJay: taht is one of my favorites ArJay: lol chat_bac_gurl_16: i havent listened to truce for along time ArJay: o chat_bac_gurl_16: anyway ArJay: did you like me "i love gerard" on separate lines chat_bac_gurl_16: yes ArJay: lol. i am obsessed chat_bac_gurl_16: it's okay arjay. we'll get you through it. everything will be allright ArJay: lol chat_bac_gurl_16: sure now the caffeine kicks in ArJay: as soon as my song is over i g2g lol chat_bac_gurl_16: ok ArJay: does jordan really look at me lovingly even when were not fighting ArJay: even when we are* chat_bac_gurl_16: maybe not lovingly but longingly sometimes. ArJay: o ArJay: weird ArJay: do i look at him like that? chat_bac_gurl_16: i've seen it once or twice... ArJay: ok ArJay: well i always want what i cant have...well not ALWAYS ArJay: but bye bye chat_bac_gurl_16: ok bye chat_bac_gurl_16: we both want him ArJay: nightynight chat_bac_gurl_16: cry chat_bac_gurl_16: toodles ArJay: let him pick