and she is on last night for several hours but just won't talk to me like, at all. i'm thinking she's pissed at me for telling her mum where stinky ex boyfriend lives. i dont fucking care. she's lying to me again. i dont know why she insists on hiding it from me. she did this last time too. i don't need to be protected. and i am breaking this "protection" myself by all that.... yeah. my arm doesnt hurt anymore. it is numb. if only she knew i keep a secret so much better than she "does". never been figured, really. i dont know. the thought of talking to either of them or seeing either of them makes me want to throw up and want to grab a knife from the drawer and hide it when i see. i can't believe she can even call me a friend. fucker. i got fifteen bucks... so thats okay. pity money. to me it had nothing to do with my birthday. pity money. i'll give you 15 bucks and a cd if you let me keep my mouth shut about.... what i dont want you to know. yep. thats the way i look at it currently. i just... i am so angry at myself even for believing in this friendship. i'm so fucking happy i only have three fucking classes with her. and she's all excited about this big huge long lunch. probably run off and hide somewhere with him. "god"... fuck. i hate you so much. oh yes... and the whore part? i find it to be quite true. lets see... that guy that is a "stalker", boy with two girlfriends, and him. three? and god knows what she doesn't tell me. haha mommy was right. soon she'll probably even get the official label. i love my mother at the moment. "if she acts like that... if she does all that... soon she's going to get herself a label and into trouble." you are brilliant.