I have like three minutes left of class. I like the UBSCT schedule. We have to take that goddamned test today. I hate tests. GRRR. I have jokes stuck in my head hahaha. THE DUPRIES ARE MISSEN!!! UBSCT: Utah Basic Skills Cometency Test. Sigh.... I hope I fuckign pass this time. I don't fucking want it hanging over my head for the next two years. I have enough hanging there as it is. Sigh. I am at school. mostly because I could not get on yesterday. I was worried about her last night. but she is all meh-y today so w/e If her dad didn't do what we thought he was goign to do, I will not give her special treatment. Oh. No. Josh kicked me and I went up to the dead end to kick him back arjay came up the stairs "OH GOD NOW YOU HAVE HEPATITIS TOO" I only went to kick him. Why if your 4th is drawing wwere YOU up there? meh. I don't care. Toodeloo EDIT Even though things are... well... good... or okay... w/e. Shit is still fucking confusing me...... Am I or am I not? Do I or do I not? WHY THE FUCK DOES IT ALWAYS MANAGE TO GO BACK TO HIM???? FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATE AND LOVE BEING ENAMORED OF HIM. Today we did the UBSCTs... Mum just calls them biscuits. I've been saying "BISCUITS!!" all day long. People look at me and laugh. Lunch was lovely. Karee and I read sad monologues in Drama. I like them.... I liked lunch. I had an omen. haha. But first, arJay was all meh-y. Her dad didn't freak out like we thought..... Did I want it to happen? I feel wrong... Sara was actually entertaining to be around today. Better when Jess came too. I sat and banged myself into the wall. It hurt but mademe warm. Then I sat on the floor and laughed. Jess had sour cream come out her nose. I laughed and she sort of squirted taco guts out of her mouth. I laughed and pointed and said "LOOK YOU SQUIRT!!" Jordan kept looking at us. He was just around the corner from me. Mary gave him strange looks when he stood on the chair. And apparently once we eitehr slid down the wall or stood up at the same time. He requested that I get him his binder and book. Sigh... I did. I felt bad doing it but oh well. A couple minutes I looked down on the floor and saw a red pen. I picked it up and asked if it was anyone's. It wasn't... so it had to be Jordans. That was my omen... I am awesome. Jess and Steven owe me $$. And It's just cuz I'm awesome and I love them. Ms. Drage is horrifically impressed with me. We averaged stuff in excel... using the average scores and lesson shit from her classes. During 4th period there were two rather impressive ones... a 23 lesson 75 WPM person and then a 23 lessoned 98 wpm one. Guess which one I was As the bell rang and I was walking out, She called after me "Sarahjane?" And I turned and went back to her desk place."Whew. You did extraordinary on the speed test. WIth that you could use it in competitions" They have competitions "for FBLA and you can go to state... nationals... " really? Cool "promise you'll come talk to me about it?" HOLY SHIT. The UBSCT was pretty easy. Writing ooh big whoop. I just hate essays. But mine are long and I use wonderful words. hehehe. I got about 10 pages of reading done after i finished. The bell rang and I went out. I hit room 8 just as Jordan was coming out...he turned around and sort of saw i was looking and turned back around. I pulled his pen out of my pocket and sort of jabbed him in the arm with it. "is this yours?" hahaha it was. he seemed surprised and asked how I knew. Process of elimation....... durr??? But instead of pocketing the pencil and just kind of running away down the hall, I started to walk faster, and he caught up to me.. and talked to me. Not just walked, but walked and talked... It makes me remember last year. sob. heheh. I miss west lake sometimes. We walked through ana dout the door. He pushed it really open. I was just going to walk around like I normally do, and I thought he was going to go through teh building. but he walked next to me. ANd it wand just shit about school either. We talked about the hoodie issue. he wore it the same reason I do. He felt vulnerable without it. ANd he didn't like feeling like that so he doesn't wear it. He is happy that soon he can stop wearing the jacket. I found it minorly funny that his dad makes him take a coat. I spun around and sat just as he was going on the bus and he was behind me diagonally. More chit chat I love talking to him. I don't know why. The eye contact issue. I am still insanely in love with his eyes. ArJay used to say that they're cold and empty. Even if they are, they're beautiful. ArJay gave me the papers to write her joke and day and made me read her newest creation. Medusa. It is really good. It makes me want to sit down with a piece of paper and be prepared to scribble. It was funny... ArJay sat next to him, and over her He and I are discussing why her poem is better than the last thign she wrote. Crazyness..... I really should stop writing now...... Sigh... I just.... I wish I could eitehr know, or have the courage to do what I'd like to do somedays. He still tires not to touch me. Sometimes I wish he would.................... I'm not going to break if you do. I'm not going to break while you do....... I just feel safe there. Still... FUCK