In the year 4545... everything you think do and say, is in the pill that you took today. How odd... Hyrum... Liz's bf talks to me for forever, consoles me, makes me laugh and smile. Calls me babe and tries to help me. I'm afraid that if I really open up to him, he'll run away... just like Jordan. ArJay said "buta" as i passed her in the halls. I'm not sure EXACTLY what it means, mum says it means whore. The Smiths are not going to like us much anymore. Bite me assholes. I want to rip my hair out.... It feels unnatural. disgusting. still no money. Thank god she wasn't on the bus. Sara and I were signing the pledge of allegiance. I hate the "Under god" part. it is a stupid sign and I don't like to do that part of the pledge anyway... I pledge nothign really... empty promises. He sat in front of me. I listened to stone sour..... I love it. "I wish I was too dead to cry... " sigh... he sat there. I watched his hand on the way home. There was some kind of an accident on 35th on the way home. Hopefully it didn't involve pedestrians... the driver turned at westlake and took 31 the rest of the way to the stops... Sara and I were talking. The mood on the bus is nearly jovial without her there. Mohammud bitch slapped josh again. GO MOHAMMUD!!! Here's what weirded me out a bit.. Jordan got off at my stop. He stopped and chatted a tiny bit, antagonized Josh and looked slightly mournful when I crossed the street. If he does it again tomorrow, I might walk to the sidewalk entrance instead... So fucked up. I'm off enough that I actually did my homework when I got home.... I do'nt understand 1/2 of it but oh well... Mom went to a rosary. We're home alone. My monolouge is stuck in my head.. alot of things are..... things I don't really want there anymore.... but they won't go away. memories haunt me like a thousand bad dreams.