I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU DONT' KNOW WHO I AM YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT IHAVE AND HAVE NOT DONE YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I WAS BEFORE I MET YOU. AND I DON'T LIKE TO THINK ABOUT IT. BUT YOU, YOU JUST WONT GIVE IT UP. NO MATTER WHAT I DO. NO MATTER WHAT I SAY, TELL YOU TO FORGET IT. IF WE CARED, WE WOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS. ' I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ANYTHING. BEFORE YOU EVEN KNEW ME. MY MOTHER NEVER ASKED ME WHY I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS. SHE JUST THOUGHT I WAS EXHAUSTED. DON'T TELL ME I DON'T HURT. YOURE NOT ME. I DONT HURT THE SAME WAY. ITS NOT THE FUCKING SAME. THE FUCKEDUPNESS INSIDE HAS MADE ME NOT CARE. SO I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS. I'M TIRED OF CRYING OVER EVERY LITTLE THING. I'M SICK OF YOUR VOICES MAKING ME WANT TO BREAK DOWN AND CRY. I DON'T CARE WHO I SCARE ANYMORE. IF HE CARED, HE WOULD HAVE TRIED TO FIX IT. EVEN IF HE WAS SCARED. OR MAYBE NOT. SEEING AS MY OWN MOTHER DIDN'T. SO FINE. WE CAN PRETEND YOURE DEAD. PRETEND I AM. I NEVER SAID IW ANTED TO KILL YOU. IF I KILLED YOU I'D HAVE TO KILL MYSELF. I COULDN'T DEAL WITH THE GUILT AND EMPTINESS THAT WOULD BE CREATED IF YOU WERE GONE BECAUSE OF ME. WE'RE NEVER GOING TO UNDERSTAND EACHOTHER'S PAIN SO THERE'S NO USE IN TRYING ANYMORE. I WILL JUST SIT HERE AND LET MY HEAD SPIN, ASKING MYSELF WHY I FUCKED UP SO BAD, WHAT MADE ME LIKE THIS. I'M SICK OF YOU HURTING ME. NOBODY ELSE HAS FOR A WHILE. I CAN'T BLAME ANYTHING ON HIM AT THE MOMENT. NOTHING NEW. ITS NOT ALL YOU ETITHER. I'M SICK OF EVERYTHING. YOU CAN'T SEE INSIDE MY HEAD. YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT I DON'T WANT TO DIE OR RUN AWAY FROM THIS ALL. YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHO I LOVE AN DWHAT I THINK. BECAUSE I LOVED YOU SO MUCH IT HURT. BUT NOW I CAN'T EVEN BEAR TO LOOK AT YOU. I CAN'T LOOK AT ANYTHING. I WAS NUMB FROM THE INSIDE OUT. I CAN'T CARE ANYMORE. IT HURTS TOO MUCH. BECAUSE I IF I CARE ABOUT ONE THING... IF I TRY TO CARE ABOUT YOU TRY TO FIX THIS, I WILL CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE. AND I WILL BLAME MYSELF. I DON'T REMEMBER BLAMING YOU. BLAME IS WORTHLESS SO ARE APOLOGIES. BECAUSE I CAN'T MEAN THEM FOR FOREVER. I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE ANY THIS TIME. preppysux (6:32:17 PM): ok go ahead and avoid me. i'll remember this with every breath i take, all the way until my last. I DONT KNOW WHY THIS IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT. MAYBE THIS IS THE LAST TIME I DO THIS. I HOPE TO GOD I NEVER HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY AGAIN. ...and they can't hear me