I don't know... today was good... we talked and all.... I liked it... but I don't know what it means. And then I read her GJ entry... find out that she was online today..... that "kyle" was..... I don't know what is wrong....... I just hope she is okay. I really do... I want to help her. I gave her lortab today. "I didn't know you were doing stuff agian." but what she doesn't know is i've been taking them for me to have at schoool. I am.... confused... lost.... whatever. Mom gave her a ride home. I don't know what to think. I need to shower and poke and sleep. Take things for her tomorrow.... see if there is anything I can do to help...... I just want to die. IF someone would come kill me i would thank them. Its sad that you can feel so happy one minute and the next minute you just want to take the razorblade out of your wallet and slit it across your throat, and deeply and slowly as your life will allow. and then you wait for the loneliness not to feel so thick or warm. you dont want anyone to look at you, because you dont want to be seen witht he "wrong" people.. that the only thing people will see is a tombstone. isnt this lovely? She fucking sounds like me...