i have these horrible but oh so wonderful thoughts in my head. i can see my fingernails digging into (more prominently his) their skin... i can feel the tension in my arms. i can see those beautiful bloody streaks i'd leave behind. i can hear screams and feel fighting back. too paralyzed by pain to put up much of a fight. i can hear the echo of banging bloody heads into walls. i can see a drizzle of blood begin to drip from the corners of his mouth. i feel the adrenaline rushing through my body and the anger deep deep inside. i feel a smile playing at my lips. but i still try to be scary. i kick him where it hurts most and he falls to the floor. for her, a knife through the heart is much more appropriate. and these thoughts don't bother me at all. i like htem. i like any visual thought where there is blood.... i know that is sick and wrong to many many people... but to me it is only what i feel at the moment. i have been lied to and hurt by those people so goddamned fucking much, it is a miracle to me that i am still here sometimes. i feel like they have killed me and i would just like to return the favor. they need to feel my pain.