I spent time every day this week with her. Eek It is grotesquely amusing... I don't know why. Kolby deep throats popcicles for Matt. It's funny. It's hard to keep up with what is going on in my life, and in my mind... so much is changing, Jordan has decided I'm an okay person to talk to.. He looks me in the eyes again. Godfuckingdamnit I forget about those eyes. He makes me laugh whether arjay knows/cares or not. He talks to me about random little things in the frazil line. I eat and spend alot of time with friends. It's weird. ArJay this week, school shit and stuff next week, then HOPEFULLY I can have my robyn on the 20th. and then this summer, OK and Arkansas for the family and for Natasha. I might not fail gym... I have to figure out something to do with it though. How to make up those goddamned points. My knee is healing... i pick the scabs and they bleed. Indirect self mutilation. The alcohol stings. My the back of my head felt like it was going to blow off today. that was so unbelievably hot.... and I just realized that 2001: A Space Odyssey, is really trippy, and if you were high, you would hate the end of that movie like a person on acid would hate that one song Cynthia has. I wonder how Mr. wise would react if I drew the scars on my arm for my weekly drawing. I think it's funny.