well... today was for the most part better than last night. i woke up and it seemed really nice and all outside... my cheeks still looked a little sore. i spent like an hour or more lying in my bed talking to myself and screaming and begging for my daddy to come... well we all ate and then set off for the effing orthodontists... they ARE nice. I am most definately not looking forward to what they will be doing to my mouth on September 23... eek. oh well seems better than alot of things. and i mean, ALOT of things. as we were sitting in the "financing office" i finally broke down for taking in all the fucking things in my life. it just all feels like too fucking much. but so then they did the molds ofmy teeth with these DISGUSTING plaster mold things that have a taste somewhere between albuterol and gasoline(speaking from experience w/ both)and they're giving me this appliance thing that is going to be glittery and opalescent. went to suzies and got some shirts and a pair of pants that are actually pretty goddamned nice... lol $28 pants for 5 bucks! hurrah for bargains. i got this teal shirt with this black flower on it that looks like it's been scribbled on... then just a plain black one and a yellow one that talks about a rock revolution or something (music, mischeif, mayhem woo!)and i got some maroon eyeliner that is just "neat" and mum found some jellie bracelets... went to dollar tree to get shit for my grandma and i ended up with like a ton of skittles and some fucking awesome markers. and we got her tons of cool stuff too. :note to self... never buy offbrand candy from dollar store: WHY THE FUCK DON'T THEY SELL MUNCHIES IN THE USA?????????????????? went to seven eleven and got some nachos for snackie and went home and separated stuff and all. dad came and got us and we told him all about our orthodonture. he is "proud" omfg. arjay started to text me as we pulled out of the trailer park. she had wanted me to go to quizno's w/ her. eeew... so i talked to her about school and freaking out about said affair and that i broke down at the office from realizing i'm not ready to handle all of the changes in my life(and risidual effect from last night, but she will prayerfully never know this) and i talked to her until we got to lone star. picked grandma up and made her open her presents(most of which are either purple or covered in pooh bear) and went to lone star. got seated adn dad called eric on my phone and we sat and waited for him. ordered drinks and got the texas rose. hooray for "just peachy" lemonade! supposed to have liquor in it(cry!)but i got a taste of grandma's margarita(what is it w/ that woman and me and booze???)and my lemonade was 2 for one so i got two. and it came in these cool lemonade pitcher things. haha. eric showed up and we ate. it makes me sort of sad.. (oh yeah i had a... a sort of bad but almost good dream involving him a few nights ago... actually more on the bad side of godo than the good side of good... and its not what i'm giving the illusion of it to be...)but the last few times i've seen him he's seemed really sad... oh... well... took grandma ohme and dad took us past the trailer in north salt lake where they used to live. its for sale again. i want to go into it and see if there is as evil of a presence as mom makes it out to be. ok... the pants i got at suzies are really cool except for the fact that they have assfuckingugly tan suede strings lacing up through little holes in the sides. so what i'm doing witht hat is taking out the suede things and i'm going to go buy black and red (if possible lacy)ribbon and re thread it through the holes. hurrah for sarah and her totally weird ideas! then i went out into the living room and talked to my mum about freaky presence experiences and evil spirits and thigns that watch us when we sleep... and the shadow outside of my old room in the old house... and other people's houses that we didnt like and got on the subject of weird people and just... i havent talked to her like that for a while. i like having intelligent conversations with her sometimes. they tend to be usually pretty interesting. and now... here i am ranting and raving about my day... and nobody particularly cares, but fucking deal with it its easier to write here than in my regular journal, not that i dont write pretty much exactly this there... oh well......