And today sucks. ArJay is a hypocrite. More so than Paul in a way. I really don't enjoy being treated like shit on the bus just because Jordan is there. I dont like it end of story. Maybe I will take the Public bus tomorrow. I don't know. I can't escape her. He is an asshole. I hope his dad just gives us old rusty knives. Then the only significance it will have to me is the fact that it probably will have slit my motherfucking wrist. Natasha is on leave. Haven't heard from Robyn in a long time. Tomorrow is a blue day and a huge deadline. If I dont do this thing, I get a D in chem. I can fail Chemistry and becompletely fine though. But I dont want any F's or D's for that matter showing on my transcript. My grades are as follows American Sign Language: A Algebra II Honors:C Drawing 1:A Astronomy:A Fitness for Life:B World Studies Honors:C Chemistry Honors:D English Honors:B I don't know why I try anymore. I need to switch out of my honors classes. Get away from ArJay, stay away from Jordan... Maybe I should just transfer to fucking hunter. Then I can hang with scotty. I know running from my problems isn't going to fix anything, but at this point, I'd rather run from them for as long as I can than face them and go through hell for however long it would take. I haven't got the morale to face them right now. Especially considering the fact that I sat in my doorway on Saturday and stared at the darkest spot i could find, and I made myself lose conciousness. For a split second, I made my mind go completely black... completely empty. And... the scariest thing is... it DIDN'T scare me.