It's not even Christmas vacation yet and I want it to end. Tony bought me things for him. I hate when he does this. I will take them all back to the store, get cash for what was spent, and then go donate the money to someone who needs that shit. I want to hurt my father at the moment, and I want to burn down every single motherfucking church building in this state. Sara took me to her seminary class today. I was scared, and sitting there singing the goddamned hymns with them, watching the video of the LDS prez, and all of the biblical stories, trying to maintain the courtesy not to fall asleep and doing so anyway, and the woman "hosting" the assembly being so happy and every other word beign jesus or prophet or testimony, It made me realize. I really am an athiest. I should have realized it yesterday when dad was yelling at me about how I DONT know that the world will be incinerated in 5 billion years when the sun runs out of hydrogen and explodes to the size of mars' orbit. And about how he and eric then, 2 minutes later, began talking about how by then we will have the technology to feed the sun, and about how it doesnt matter because... We will become the stars. It disgusts me. I cried when I got home. My brother is selfish I hate him I don't want him to give me anything ever again. I want to go the rest of the season with nothing. I don't think I got anything else that I want or need. Fuck it all. Maybe I will go die. Then they wil not have to worry.