Do I even have a name anymore? Because it doesn't feel like I do. I am so tired of this. My stupid father. ANd now I've hurt eric. Beyond... I don't even know....... Is it betrayal to know what one is feeling when they won't willingly share it with you? I never wanted to hurt anyone. And now I am here alone with nobody around. Daddy trusted me to stay. It's not like I have anything. I want it. I know where it is. But search your house, search all the places I keep shit. You won't find anything. Except maybe the pins I threw into the yard last night. There is a gopher carcas.. well right now it is mostly a head and guts. Something about me doesn't even want to move it. there is something that looks like a kidney in one place... it's lungs and brain are spilled out on the carpet. There is shit by it too... it's little legs are in random places. It's eyes are hollow and closed, and it's teeth are really yellow. i took a stick and poked the liver lookng thing. it just about ruptured. it was creepy. it smells bad. IT is shiny and bloody and I can see it. I wonder who killed it But I don't want to move it. In some way, it should be left. Daddy, I didn't see it.