... yeah... today WAS pretty good though, I must say. I was a little sad during ASL, but we got to watch reading rainbow (reading rainbooooooooowwwwww! lol) and learned some signs... had an assembly. it was really lame and gay. i found deja and we sat by arjay. i gave her fall out boy and she was very happy. math was good. i have things to do this weekend.... well... tomorrow when i have nothing to do but sit in front of the computer...haha. drawing was fun. we had to draw cartoon-y faces. i drew probably the best horse of my life today. more drawing for the weekend muahahaha! astronomy was... well... interesting. van tassel's son was our sub. we ewatched the last 10 minutes of "rudy" and then we watched some of apollo 13... lovely movie. mom was supposed to give me a ride, but it exted her and asked if it was okay if i rode the bus with arjay again and went to her hosue for a bit. that was fun, lemme tell ya... arjay did sit by jordan... but he was QUITE displeased about it. she was leaning on him and smashing him into the wall and he kept giving her these evil dagger looks and looking at me... at one point he went "you are thoroughly enjoying this, arent you?" at me... i was not. i wished i coudl have been the one sitting there. NOO be gone ye demon thought. but she was just listening to her iPod and he was being all pissed off... got off at her stop and we convinced him to walk arjay and i back to her house. and, amazingly, he did. he had to get things for paul anyway... so i think that's part of it... meh... he was mad at her... you could tell. just this murderous look on his face... and she was laughing hysterically any time she got a dirty look or something... and he dragged her to her front door and said "there. you're home now. i'm leaving." and he walked a bit down the street, and arjay yelled at him that he needed to get pauls cds. so she dropped off her stuff, and sent me back out to get him, and he was down the street, banging his head on the wooden fence, and i yelled "you have to come meet butt crumb" and he said something... i dont know what... and stuck his binder on top of his head, and came to me ahahahaha. he stood around the bottom of her porch while she searched for theodore, and out of the corner of my eye as i wastrying to see him and make sure he wasnt leaving, i'd se his head whip really quickly around the corner.... he loves theodore. she told him to kiss theodore and then kiss me and then kiss her, and he woudl only kiss theodore haha. at one point he goes "oh, thats lovely little sharp claws lacerating my throat" almost as good as "aww, its making out with its brother..." ::um... sister..:: "aww... thats even worse" but not quite. i dont know if it is to get back at arjay or something that he talks to me... but when she is around, he doesn't really. it is just funny... and its weird to associate feelings with him again. i have been so hellbent on hating them both, i havent paid any attention to him as just one. god... fucking... damnit... but it was fun. we sat in arjays kitchen and drank pepsi and listened to fall out boy, and she drew a picture of an evil cat, and then of a "jordan clown"... and called paul about a million times, and then jordan to see if he was home. convo went something like this was paul home? no ask mitchell if he was on the bus distant::was paul on the bus today?::to arjay:: no god, i fucking hate him!!! ::silence:: to me::listen! ::to jordan::i love you... ::hysterical laughter from arjay:: okay... ::pause:: click mom got me, and we got her liscence plates. came home...sat in my room a bit, tried to take a nap and listening to my depressing cd haha. we left and went to liberty park around 5 or so. that was fun. greeted liz with "your name what" in ASL, and she goes "I FORGOT!!!!" and gives me a hug. so we ate. tims big brother jeff(bi/gay something but fucking AWWWWWWWESOME!!!!!)was there too..maria was there witha kid she was baby sitting. it was fun. we ate, then maria left, liz an di talked, and then liz, me, tim, tony and jeff walked down to the canyon fountain. it was off, but htere was alot of water in the "lake". we took our shoes off and walked around. talked about how all her life is messed up... oh, i pity you so. then we went into the "lake" and threw plastic balls at eachother. went back and ate cake while tim opened his presents. told some jokes for a while. haha. then around... i dunno a bit before 8 we left. julian was having fun being picked up, and then he was having fun running his hands all over my face. i found it hysterical just in the fact that he was laughing so much. came home... pretty much that is my day. hm... isnt it funnyhow i write more about school and those details and jordan and stuff than i do about my cousins birthday?? i guess perhaps it is because he has a birhtday every year, i only have days like thei every so often. i am almost seriously happy. the urges are still here, of course... but listening to marilyn manson volume cranked is helping. well... any and all my blood needs have been satisfied by my freak bloody noses in the last day. well... i think that is a sufficient update..