i am sick to... everything righ tnow. i feel like i am floating somewhere above myself taking this all in. i can't... i have to know......... i cannot believe this. my head is spinning... the letters on the screen are fuzzy black blurs..... teh edges and outlines of everything seems tinted and unclear. this could be permanent undoing of everything. this takes away any respect and any hope of ever feeling like thatagain. i want to gointo my bathroom and get the razor out again.. but it isnt worth it. they aren't worth fucking shit fucking whore fucking liar fucking piss poor "friend" I have to ask. I have to know. I have to make her do something unthinkable: I have to make her tell the truth. because if she keeps lying, I can't fucking take it. I honest to god can't. she is a regina george: a life ruiner. I, myself can not handle all of the dishonesty and fuckedupedness of my life. I have to find some way to get away. I dont know what it's going to take, but I just... I know I have to. I can't stay here and be around these people. I need to find something new, or pick up something old and simple right from where I left it. but I can't go back to that either. I just... I need to go away for... a... while