yea..i havent seen tony sence the weekend n its wednesday n i dont even know if i can see him tomarrow either. i hope my dad can be nice for a change. this has never happend b4. im used to being with tony every other day on weekdays n then on the weekends im with him all weekend long. idk. it just sucks. im miserable when i cant see him. i feel so bored n lost when hes not here. i stayed after with him n i couldnt let go. ugh. i just couldnt. i love him more then anything n i cant seem to say goodbye n stop locking on to him when we depart. i miss him right now. more then anything. i wanna be in his arms. i couldnt see him monday cuz i just saw him all weekend so i knew it was ganna be a no so i didnt even ask. yesterday i had cousaling n then went to my dads. n today my mom told me she has been planning on taking me n zack out for dinner all week. ugh. n tomarrow my dads in charge n i really want him to say yes. i miss him even though it may sound dumb cuz its ony been three days. idk. nobody gets it. Michelle Pooler is tonys cousin n everyone makes fun of her n now i hate it. i feel bad. i know i have b4 but i stopped. she was almost in tears today on the bus cuz ppl were being sluts to her. how the fuck can someone be that mean to someone else for fun? i actually talked to her n she was really nice. she has an alright singing voice too. im not making fun of her anymore though, n plus..i know she looks up to me. so im stopping that stupid shit. its immature anyways. Well im outt. i hope tony gets on b4 i have to leave with my mom so ill prolly write more later. i love you more then anything tony. with all my heart. every little bit of it. i always will. i promise. ur the best n i never wanna lose you. id be completly dead without you by my side. i need you sweetie. more then ive needed anyone. ::eDiT:: I just got off the phone with my dad n i can go to shadowbrook tomarrow. wow. he was really nice about it too. it was a right of the bat kind of yes so im pretty psyched:) i cant wait to tell tony. yayy. haha wow im really happy now but im leaveing. my moms ganna be here soon anyways. lates.