Well last night pretty much blowed. Went to my brothers baseball game after being in a shitty mood the whole morning. It started raining when we got there so from about 4pm till like 6:30pm we were just sitting in the car while they were cleaning up the field so they could play after it rained. It was seriosly gay. The highlight of my day was going to wendys?! Then my moms calls me and im hey mom b4 you say anything I wanna know if I can go to dustin and Tonys house to see the new baby?! shes like well i have alittle problem with dustin..Gary counted ciggs because i guess they were missing and Dustin was near the house and when gary got home 2 were missing. So my mom was having this huge fit about and said i couldnt go over..but after talking to her i got her to say yes and plus she had to leave to go out to dinner with gary and didnt feel like arguing anymore. So i called tony and told him everyting and he swaers dusting wasnt at the house at all so idk wtf is going on. I was planning on asking Ashley or melissa if they stole them but i would hate it if i was mistaken and made a fool out of myself. And Idk if i wanna know the truth..i dont want a trust issue putting our friendship on the line. I dont know any other smokers or that knoes there was a pack of ciggs sitting on the deck. but then i think that ashley n melissa JUST bought ciggs and have NO reason what so ever to steal my moms so why would they have done it?! idk..i wouldnt think they would have. Well then i was just sitting in the truck with my dad and my mom calls me back?! She started having this bitch attack on me for not doing the diches in time?! I got the dishes done @ like 3pm and ran the dishwasher and she was mad that my brother didnt have time to unload the diashwashed as we had to leave at 4pm. I'm like wow im sorry and she was yelling at me wicked bad and saying i was ganna be grounded and she was ganna unplug the computer and all thie other shit. i was balling my fucking eyes out. Shes like oh and you can cancle ur shit plans for tonight cuz ur not going. This wouldnt have been such a big deal if it was on any other day but i was having a bad day. My mom wasnt suppoesed to be home anyways cuz she was going out with her loooooove! I feel so stressed outt all the time and i miss my friends (mostly stephanie) because i dont see her ever. So i ended up having road rage on the way home. I wasnt wearing my seat belt, i almost hit the gaurd rail and i was going 52 in a 30. I was so upset and just wanted to go home. Tony helped out alot though. He was so nice and understanding about everything and thats the times where i love him the most. I talked to him on the phone until around 1130 and then i just went to sleep. I didnt wanna talk to anyone and plus i was just so tierd. I woke up at 9:30 due to the fact that i had to meet tony after he got out of school because my mom keeps yelling at me to get a job even though i JUST TURNED 16!! So I ended up not leaving the house until like 10:15am because i had a HUGE chat with my mom. Its all about Gary and everyting isnt the same sence he like ABUSED his kid right in front of everyone. And he gets drunk all the time and idk hes so annoying. I cant take it anymore. I t used to be liek he just slept on the ocuh now and then..but now its him in my moms bed everynight ALL THE TIMEE! I'm not used to it yet. It's ganna be year this summer from when i first found out about my mom and dad. I wish everything was the same again. I just feel like Gary is always trying to take my dads place n shit. I guess he has offered my mom to leave because he knows of me and my brothers discomforts about him, but my mom said no!? idk whatever. I want her to be happy but sometimes it feels like if shes happy im not and when im happy shes not. Shes been really stressed out with him lately and shes been taking it out on me and i just feel lonely. I know that i have my family, friends and Tony but idk. I feel like when i talk to my dad he tells my mom and when i talk to my mom she tells gary and my dad. I feel like my friends judge me(all but a couple) and im just putting shit on tony and making his life harder. This entry has become so insanly long but idc. I feel like i need to get this out somewhere. The things that i told my mom today werent as in depth as this entry and this entry isnt all that im feeling. I just cant type it all. I ended up calling stephanie this morning cuz i miss her and wanna have her over tomarrow and have her spend the night. My mom said it was fine that she stayed so im excited. It was tonys idea sence i was sitting there kinda upset about things and he knew i needed her. I got a ton of applications today after I went to burger king with my love and Dustin. it was a good time. oh and i SAW THE BABYYY! heesss sooooo cuuuute! i loove him! lol Im at my moms work right now cuz she had to do somethings before she took us go carting:) so that will make me happy! haha well im outt. leave me commets..it makes me feel special. oh and Jessica..Feel better hun! Do whats best for you and know that everyone supports and loves you:-*