Talked to tony about alot of shit. i spilled out everything. i couldnt stop. i was so happy. he was too. ugh. i told him so much about how i felt. i cant belive i feel so much for one person. its overwhelming. so im glad everythings over with this gay shit. i feel somewhat releived. he called me alittle while ago n we talked for about an hour. always great. ahh i love him more then anything in the whole fucking world n i cant wait to see him on monday (or should we say tomarrow cuz its 1230 am) ahha you know what that means..happy 6 months to me n tony todayyyy:) yea..shits getting to me about my weight. i know im not fat but ugh. i wanna lose like 93348732467 pounds. idk why i just do. n i get sick of complaining about it to ppl. cuz they get mad @ me n sick of hearing it. i wanna lose weight so bad. im just so fucking lazy. sometimes i just wanna starve myself. like it would be so much easier then running n all this other shit. i wanna look like all the other girls i know. it bothers me everytime a wicked pretty girl walks by wether tonys with me or not. i get so jealous. im deathly afraid of becomeing fat n ugly. ugh. but i guess it depends how bad i want the body or not for me to do anything. idk..hoe much you wanna fucking bet im ganna end up having an eating disorder by the time im 20. im ganna get so sick of it n give up. this is getting way out of hand. even though i get compliments form friends n my boyfriend i still dont feel good enough. idk..w.e please leave me some comments.