I smile to much. The only time when I am not lieing to anyone is when I am by myself. Her:How are you doing? Me:Pretty good. Her:Thats good, but why should I ask? You are always so happy. Just because I laugh doesnt meen that I am happy. People in prison laugh. People on their death beds laugh. People starving in third world countries laugh. So do I. I dont have anything really to be sad about.... just living. Of course I should be happy to be alive... lots of people are dieing to be alive... I guess its the opposite for me. I am living to die. Oh well. School starts tommorow. I dont want to go. I have like... abajillion mosquito bites. It sucks. I also got bit by a wasp today... weird... Him:You lied. Me:About what? Him:"I dont have a someone like that." ...You always had me. Me:...I guess I did lie... I dont know. Sometimes it just feels like no one is their. It feels like the world is just holding you under the cold water, trying to make you so desperate that you open your lungs and let them fill with sadness... then let you float belly up to the top. Bleh. I dont know what I feel. I jumped into a river today. It was cold. I jumped off a bridge. It was so cold that it knocked all of the air out of my lungs. But... it was fun. Today was my last day of summer. I went over to my friends house today. We sat on her giant cuddlesack with a bowl of m&m's... and talked. We talked for three hours, then I had to go home. It is nice to do that. A girl owes me a twelve pack of Dew. She said she would bring it tommorow. Caffeine makes people happy. I need to do laundry. School... gahh... hate school... And I havent even started it yet. I guess I should go to bed now... its a school night. in the name of... not going to school...