I dont want to love you because I cant love you. I cant love you because it hurts. I will not sit around and wish for you. I will not wait for you to come back, because I know you wont. I dont want to be sad about this anymore. You say that this causes you pain. You dont even know. You where not the one who got told that they werent loved anymore by the person you loved the most. You did not get told that that person wasnt going to be with you anymore. You where not the one to cry all night and pray to god that the person would come back to you. You dont know how much pain this is. It is like my guts are being ripped apart. Its like my heart wants to stop beating. It is like something inside of me died. But I am trying to get over you. Activly trying to forget that I still love you. Because I dont want to hurt. I may just be hiding my feelings, but whats the use of leaving them out? There is no use. So I am trying to accept what life has hurled at me and I am trying to move on. I know that there will never be another one like you, but it wont stop me from looking for him. I know that I may not be able to find him in highschool, but I am willing to look forever. There is no use in being sad. Being sad only hurts. I want to stop crying about you. And I want to stop loving you. And I want to stop thinking about you everday. And so I am going to try not to cry, and not to love, and not to think. I am going to try and do that because I am hurt. But it is so hard. It is so hard to believe. And it is so hard to tell myself that I dont love you. But I am going to do it anyway. Stop protecting from things that I want. And I want to be happy. There is a part in a movie, where a man talks about how he he got over his love. I just have to wake up each morning, and breath in and out. And I have to do this everyday untill I dont have to remind myself to breath in and out, or to get out of bed. And soon it will just be a memory, and soon I will be ok again. And that is what I am doing. Breathing, just breathing. Just thinking about each new day as it comes. And trying my hardest to be fine. That is what I am doing. Because I want to be over you.