"so what if I never hold you, or kiss your lips again, so I never want to leave you... I beg dont leave me." I am listening to that song. How appropriate. Do you know what love is void? Do any of us really know what it is? ... I think I do. (now forgive me, for at this point I am the mostly mushy poet... dont think any less of me?) Love is the way he asks me if I am alright The way he gently holds my hand The way he wipes away my tears Love is the way his eyes look into mine The way he takes care of me The way he forgives me Love is the way we stay up talking to each other for hours The way we crave to spend time with each other The way we miss each other when we have only been gone a day or two Love is the way we laugh together And is the reason why I am crying now It is strongest bond that I have ever experienced. Thats what love is. I can still not believe that I get teary whenever he says "I love you". I can still not believe that I am with such a great guy. I cant believe that I'm in love. This beautiful thing started with one simple "Hello" Ending in a "I love you" God I am such a girl. I have had a bad day. Oh, just some fights with my mom. I hate fighting with her. Its nasty, she fights like a girl, which is the most hurtful kind of fighting. At first I was angry, then really sad, then angry again... then sad again. I tried to keep it out of my mind during the day, try to have fun. It kept coming up. She has locked me out of the house before, remember that? It ate away at me all day long, and when it was time to go home I was so depressed and confused and worried. I... I guess I have been having a rough time lately. "tough shit, huh?" Yeah. No use feeling sorry for myself. I forgive to easily. I had fun with him though, he was extra nice to me today, he knew I was not feeling very good. God... wow... I love him. He wasnt having a very good day either. I dunno... two people who are in bad moods and spend all day with each other sometimes rub each other wrong. I went home, she didnt look at me when I told her that I was home. She didnt even look up from her book. So I went upstairs, got my pajamas on. And she came up and yelled at me some. I was feeling really shitty, I wanted to talk to him, tell him what happened. Some things had happened with his mom too. We got in an arguement. We hung up. I was so sad and worried that my stomache was all twisted up in knots. I felt like throwing up and then crying myself to sleep. I ran downstairs to get online (mother took my internet connection away)... and when I got there, he wasnt online like I thought he would be. Our friend said that he wanted me to call him. So I did. A half hour later we talked. Apologized. "I love you alot" "I love you alot back" ... silly, love... I love love. "I hate it when we fight" "me to" "... I love you" "I love you to" "goodnight" "'night" This is the part where I sit back and think to myself... My god I love him. I love him so much it almost hurts. Sure, maybe I am to attatched. But I dont care. ... I really dont. I like being to attatched. The other day I said that I felt alone, and now I realize how wrong I was. I am not alone, I have someone who promised to take care me, who tells me that he loves me almost every day. I have someone who cares about me. I have someone to care about and love. ... again... I love love. Now, sitting at my desk, I wipe away the last drops of the earlier monsoon... and I sniffle. My head hurts a little, alot of crying does that to you. A bad day with a mostly happy ending. I suppose I cried so much because I am still... in shock. Someone loves me. ME! Of all the beautiful people, someone loves me. Really loves me. Yeah, I'm a girl. You probobly wont be able to read this till sometime tommorrow... sorry about that. I was overflowing with emotion, I needed an outlet. Thankyou void, for letting your grand space be contaminated with my small words. I appreciate it. *** That was last night. Last night seems so distant. Chinese food for breakfast. I am remembering. Just remembering, trying to remember. I want to remember everything. I have said this before, a peice of my brain was taken out as a small child. It just happened to be the memory peice. Yeah. I probobly have a brain disease. I have troubles remembering what happened a week ago. I guess my mind just thinks that I dont need to remember what happened. The past is lost and the future hasnt come. I am looking through my old pictures, my old poems, my drawings. I can remember how I was feeling when I drew this, or what I was seeing when I took this picture. Its easy to remember what I was thinking when I look at my poems. I think I have a cold. My nose keeps running and my head hurts. I went and got my school schedule today. Thats depressing. I want to have wings.