My sister and her boyfriend are upstairs. He just proposed. She said yes. He still has to ask my father for permission. I dont know what he will say. My mom is cool with it though. I like him, he is pretty cool. She thought that she would never get married. I went to school today. It pretty much sucked. I hated. I felt lame... and friendless. I only saw three of my real friends in school. I saw someone who I thought was my friend, but I guess not. I am quiet, I sit in the back, I dont make eye-contact. Everyone around me was being loud and happy, being friends with everyone. I was quiet. I went to band after school. It sucked. I got a hug though. Went home. Took a nap. Pretended to be asleep while my dad yelled at me. After he went to work I got up. Tried to load MSN messenger on my computer again. Gave up. My mom came home. She ordered me new glasses, I lost the other ones. They are going to come next week. I made a peanut butter sandwich. My sister and her boyfriend came over. Then left again. Me and my mom sat on my bed and talked. My sister and her boyfriend came back. She showed me the ring. My mom and her and I all started crying. He sat there and smiled, patting our backs and petting our hair. I am down here now. I am ok with him being in the family. My mom is going to sleep now. She says I should sleep too. I dont want to wake up. I want to sleep forever. Lay my tired body down in my bed. Let the blankets wrap around me. Close my eyes. Go to a surreal world. Never wake up. Maybe I could make it convienient. Lay down in the soft coffin bed, let the lid close tight. I dont want to be cremated. I want my coffin to be cast off into the ocean. Let the waves rock me into a state of eternal slumber. Bleh. I made my hair all fro-ish again today. It was pretty cool. I guess I will be a bridesmaid soon. Hmmm... in the name of eternal sleep