Sometimes I get a little bit crazy and freak people out. Sorry baby, I got a little crazy today, and cried all over myself. Its ok, I promise, just so many things are going on right now and I dont have the brain capacity to deal with all of it. The wedding plans are almost finished, that will be a good thing to get out of the way. I had to put my foot down a few times during the process, and sometimes I would put it right down on someones toe. He can just tell his family that I am stubborn and crazy, that might make them feel better. I am HATING school. So bad. Sometimes I will just sit down and think about my mom and dad. My mom is a child most days, and I take care of her. My dad isnt around enough to take of her by himself. Soon she will have to take care of herself, and I dont know if she can do it. She also puts on a outward face alot. She will tell everyone that she is one way, and deep inside she is completly different. The other day we went shopping for band aides and ice cream, and when we got to the checkout counter mom wips out her "good" credit card and tried to use it. It wouldnt take. I watched her eyes fill up with hot shame as she tried to smile it away. I just wanted to hold her so she could cry, but she wouldnt. She is sad, and lonely, and I dont know what to do to make her feel better. My dad thinks to much. He constantly analyzes everything except for what the people around him are saying. We cant have a conversation because he is too caught up in his own head. I will try to tell him a story, or share what happened to me that day, and he doesnt even register that I am talking. Everything is in his mind. Baby brown bear. He is lonely too, but he chooses to be that way. I want to cry when I think about my parents.