My mother reminds me of a little kid sometimes. When I go down late at night to tell her that I am home she rubs her eyes like a little girl and and yawns and rolls over and falls asleep looking so innocent. When something really entertains her she we will stare and smile and clap. When she gets something that she wants she giggles. Sometimes it is nice, just seeing something that appears so innocent and naive. Other times it sickens me. Mom, I want you to be a mom. Thats all I want. Its nice that you try to be my best friend, but a mom is what I need right now. I sometimes dont know why my dad married her, or vice versa. Actually I know exactly why my dad married her. He had an accident and it was an appropriate thing to do. I guess I just dont know how they have stayed together so long. ... I went to dinner at his grandmas house, which is always interesting. I love his family so much, even though they scare me a little. I want to be part of that family. I hate school. Two more trimesters and I am out of that hole. I cannot wait. Things feel like they are simple, good. I know that there are still going to be struggles, I know that there may still be a few under the surface. But right now, it feels good.