I've gotten almost no sleep today, and I have to go to work in about an hour. I dont know why I havent been tired, I am usually really good at sleeping whenever I can. I dont really feel like myself right now. I am happy with my life, content with where its going, and very peaceful. But there are some churning emotions deep inside that I dont know what to do about, or even what they are. Its like, even though I am happy, I am also a little sad. I dont know why. My throat hurts. Sometimes I think about dying, and I dont like it. I've found the love of my life and I never want to leave him. The fact that someday I will have to, makes me really scared. Knowing that we will not always remain in this simplistic, beautiful static life, makes me sad. If I had my way I would never leave our bed, never leave his arms. But someday I might have to. I never want to die. I have to get ready for work now.