So, I worked tonight, and it was ok... and also it was not ok. It is ok because it is mostly entertaining, I enjoy it, and I like money. It is not ok because I still dont know what I am doing sometimes, I am pretty new. I bet eventually it will be great because I will know everything, but for now it is just ok. My favorite part about work is getting to come home and take off my shoes and relax my feet and toes. I love how my toes feel right after I take my shoes off, or right after I get out of the tub. I actually like the feeling of my entire body after I do one of those things, but mostly my toes. Toes are sooo fucking weird. They are like stubby fingers on the ground. I can even manipulate mine almost like fingers, so I can write with them and pick things up with them, you know, the regular things people do with their toes. Last night was SO amazing. I got to spend the night over at my baby house, and it was a blast. I dont think I will go into exactly what we did at his house, but I will tell you that it was very very fun. I dont know how to quite describe it, but it was one of the most tender and gentle experiences of my life. I cant compare it to anything that I have ever ever experienced before, but I am sure that as long as I am with him, I will experience something like that again. Surrounded by a blue light, looking up into his face. I felt as if I had been yearning for that face for millions upon millions of years and that I had finally been able to let my eyes drink him up. He was so calm, so soft, I was almost shaking. I remember when I used to make him shake, quivering with adrenaline, and maybe something else. Now I was the one who looked up at him, I was the one who quivered in his arms, the one who reveled in every movement. "Teach us delight in simple things." I almost died today because I was cleaning my bathroom and I got to close to the chemical I was using to clean, and I inhaled, and then I choked and gasped and weezed and had to run outside and cough untill I could breath again. It was a little intese. ... I have a feeling that money is alwaus going to be the bane of my existance... My mind keeps skipping around from topic to topic, sort of like a stone that is thrown skips lightly on the surface of water. I feel so random and so distracted, I cant keep my brain thinking about something for more than a few seconds. Like... ADD... or something. I feel like I need to say something conclusive to end this entry, but I cant think of anything that would be conclusive, or even remotly conclusive. I cant just say something tottaly unconclusive and then be like "the end" it just wouldnt work out. ummm... SOMETHING CONCLUSIVE... ... the end.