I am feeling more myself. It has been a while since I wrote in you. I guess I havent had much to say. I am doing better. The tri is ending soon. Boys are beginning to call me again. I am going to miss social dance. I am sick right now, I have a cold. I havent been sick in a while. Its ok, I take drugs that make me feel good. This weekend I have to stay home and watch my little brothers. My parents are out of town and my sister is going to drive up and help me watch them. I think it will be ok though. I still hate myself. Yes, openly admitting. But I am learning how to live with it. Sometimes I just want to die. But other times I am so happy to be alive. Mostly dead. Heh. Why do we live... if we are just going to die? Living isnt permanent, we are but seconds on the giant road. We have little to give and we take so much. My lifes second should end soon, and give another second to another life. Seconds are little by themselves, but when added together create a uncountable number. in the name of my second...