I have taken to drawing pictures again. I havent done this for a few months now. My pictures are surrounded by my words. I can put down whatever I am feeling now. I slowly adapt. Things that cannot be described in words can be described in lines and images. I drew a lighthouse in a storm I drew a big tree with lots of leaves I drew a mermaid I drew a heart with a sword through it I drew a bleeding flower I drew an angel I drew crying eyes I drew a fairy on the moon I drew a flower with a fairy on it I drew a naked elf I drew a mushroom I drew a snail I drew an arm with cuts on it I drew a heartagram Origional me huh? Yeah... thats what I thought... * the couple days have been like "hollie rebirth" I feel utterly different. I feel like I am not even myself... I dont know why I do the things I do... I dont know how to... be... I dunno... I just dont feel myself I guess I have been thinking alot lately... but then I have just been doing things without thinking about them I dont think I know how to feel... I am never really happy and I am never really sad... I feel like I have no control over myself... I feel like I cant feel... I feel like I am just... dead. what is life without emotion? nothing... I probobly am dead... just a walking corpse or something... I feel like crying, and I feel like being quiet, and I feel like... keeping to myself? I feel like sleeping... I guess I feel but I dont know why I feel these things... I dont know. * The over used cliche My life is a ship in a storm I am destined to crash On the jagged ocks Unless Someone Shows me the way To calm waters * Why shouldnt I be happy? Why shouldnt I be sad? Why cant I feel? Why am I dead? * The wind bites The moon cries The roses bleed Why do you smile? * "Baby, come join me in death" in the name of... something... origional...