I think that I am just going to pretend that nothing ever happened. I am going to pretend that you arent there and tell myself that I never thought I loved you. On Valentines I got alot of chocolates, and alot of flowers, and alot of numbers that I dont think I will call. I know I am loved, I know I have friends, but it felt empty. I sound like such a bitch. My god. Valentines makes you wonder about why the people who love you love you... and why the people who dont love dont love you... If that made any sense at all. I like flowers. A few things have come up that are making me rethink what I am gonna do with my life. A few things I have thought about that I have been afraid to think about before. It could happen you know... anything could happen. My hair is just long enough to get in my eyes now... it is annoying but I am to lazy to cut it. I wonder if I will write another journal.. and edited journal... so my kids can read it. I dont know why they would want to... God damn, I dont know why I am thinking about kids. I always said I never wanted any. I still say I dont want any. It would be VERY hard for me to have kids anyway. See? Stuff like that just comes up now! It is irritating. I DONT want kids, especially not right now. And I do not want to meet the one I am going to have kids with yet. That would be boring. But I am not going to have kids. God damn. I think my friend is a lesbian. Weird. I have business to attend to tonight. Hopefully it will all work out in my favor, but it wouldnt suprise me if it didnt. I am against great odds... but I guess I will try. I often think about myself... lol... and I wonder what people see in me. The common answer to that would be looks... but come on guys, I am not that great. Their are plenty of beautiful ladies out there that would do anything for you. I dont know. I am cute... but thats it. And so humble too. Alot of my guy friends say that I dont really count as a girl... whatever the hell that means. Keep your mean remarks to yourself please. I dont know. I really dont. What to people like anyways? People who are nice and smile and laugh alot. But I can really only handle nice people for a certain amount of time... nice is boring. I feel guilty around nice people... because I am not really a NICE person. Yes, we all have our moments... but uh... I am not really that nice. ... *cough* Who cares.