Havent spoken in awhile. So... hello. I am still here, just quiet, just still. I am just living, barely. Sometimes it feels like I am not even doing that. But that is periodic, it happens every now and then. Besides that I am fine. Regular boring fine. I cant wait till summer. I have a job at pizza hut... lol. Marching band is starting again. I am not going to see him till next saturday, which is depressing. When he leaves I dont feel complete. When we say "goodnight" at two in the morning its like we are going to be gone forever. I watched Silent Hill last night. That is one fucked up movie... the holy shit freaky kind of movie that isnt really scary, just really fucking disturbed. I bought tarot cards this last week. They work. Now I dont fancy myself a medium or phsycic, but I am connected. I sound so arrogant and probobly crazy, but its true. I see things that most people dont see, I feel things that most people dont feel, I hear things that most people dont hear... you get the point. I am not the kind to communicate with spirits and such, if you give them attention they wont leave you alone, but that doesnt stop them from trying to interact with me. Its like I have my toes barely reaching across lifes boundaries... not much... but there. Ha... now you think I am crazy. But... its ok, because I think you are stupid. It is a sunday today, that meens church. I always feel a little guilty when I go to church. But I guess thats what church is for... to make you feel guilty about things. This weekend was fun. Alot. Yes, maybe a little "messy" but you cant help messy most times. Messes just happen. So instead of being disgusted at messiness... you should just accept it. It happens to everyone at one point or another. Messy can be fun you know. Work, school, and band are going to slowly suck my soul away untill I am just a shriveled shell of what I used to be. Shriveled and dry with little peices of me flaking off and floating away at the slightess breeze. Thats whats gonna happen. Yup, I can feel it. I am reading a really good book right now. It is called "A Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius". It is... pretty much amazing actually. I love the writer, he is so cool. It is by Dave Eggers who is probobly the most entertaining writer (not to mention cool) that I have ever read in my life. Cept maybe Anne Rice... she is cool too. I dyed his hair yesterday. He wanted it black. A little gothic yeah, but it looks so... hot... for lack of a better word... with his blue eyes. I like it. I of course made a complete mess of his neck and forhead, also of my arms and hands and fingers. Yeah... messy. Only a few weeks of school left. I am doing pretty good in most of my classes, better than last year by alot. My lowest grade is a D (not flunking! hahaha!) and my highest is an A... a pretty good range I think. Of course I have a bajillion restitution points to make up... but all in good time eh? I am going to eat donuts during sunday school today. You cant stop me. The jelly filled kind. I love jelly donuts... oh so much. Well... I think thats all I have to say. in the name of... goodbye?