You cant keep your head in the past, and you cant look to much into the future. Living in the present is dangerous at best. YOu have to combine all three in order to survive, at least phsycologically. I am not proud of some of the decisions I've made, but I very proud of others. I am proud that after highschool I was able to pick my peices off the ground. I'm proud that I have never gone back to that. I am proud of the art I create, and the things that I am passionate about. I am proud of marrying a good man. I am proud of our marriage. Everything before that is blurry. Lately it seems like my past is coming up to haunt me again. I feel so guilty about most of the things that I did to myself and to others. I feel guilty about how I treated my family, my little brothers. I know they were just worried, and I know I effectivly pushed everything away. And maybe that is what got me out of it, I dont know. The point being, no one can go back and change their past, they can only plan to make better choices in the future. We only have one life, and it feels like i've screwed up most of mine. Its only been these past few years that I feel like a real person. I feel like I have finally been born, finally sprung from my cacoon. Dan was really the one who brought me out. He was the one who told me I could, who gently brought me out of drug shell to see the real world. I owe my life to him, and more than that, I am ridiculously in love with him. In the name of one life