I had a pretty ok monday today. I went to school, and did stuff there, like... unimportant lame stuff. Then I went over to my friends and we hung out, which was cool. Then I went to the back doctor (suprise, suprise), and then I took a shower. Then me and a few friends got together and ran around at the park and ate lots of pixie stix and drank caffeine and watched the office. It was pretty cool. I also got to be a model, and I got really cool pictures taken. Lol, it was fun. AND, its not like I dont want to eat... its just that alot of the time I am doing other things, I am to busy to eat. Gimme a break. Its not like a few skipped meals is really gonna effect me at all. Its cool, its fine, dont worry about it. So... I guess I havent really updated you on my more long-term-ish life. Things are going pretty good, I have great friends, I am doing fine in school. Its like... things are stable again. Life just does that I guess. It rocks the boat till you hurl and fly over the edge and drown, and then all of a sudden everything is calm and good again. You cant really get around it, so you might as well just roll with it. I find myself settling into myself again. Every once in awhile I lose myself, I become a zombie, I dont think. Then some time later I come back to consciousness and realize where I am. I feel so relaxed, so comfortable. I am not really worrying about anything big right now. Mostly just school, actually. I want to get it over with but I want to do it good. I want my family to keep being nice to each other, I want my friends to get along. I guess some of it sort of is bigger, but... I am not dwelling on it. This is the best approach to life I have decided. I mean yeah, you still need to think about the future and remember what you learned in the past, but you shouldnt dwell on anything too long or it will eat your life. The most important part of everyday is the "now". I guess its just weird to change directions like that. I am ready, I think I am ready to actually try something like this again. I am just afraid that I will ruin it like I ruin everything else. I just want us both to be ok.