What a way to bring a new year. I want to shoot myself. I want prince charming. Yeah I know, I sound like I am twelve. But I really need him right now. And I can only imagine what he is going to be like if he finds me. He will tell me that he loves me. He will take care of me. He will kiss me on the forhead and dance with me. Make me feel feminine and beautiful all the time, who will respect me. He wont ask me to change for him because he will love me the way I am. He will sing with me and make me laugh and make me cry because he is so good to me. And he will pick me up and swing me in his arms. Hold me untill I stop crying, and he will kiss my tears away, and he will show me that the world isnt as bad as it all seems.... talk to me about everything, and care about what I care about, and make all of my worries go away. It makes me want to cry just thinking about him... I want him so bad right now. But... dreams rarely come true. Oh well. I can still dream. Someone is going to read this and laugh at me. I am not sure if I care. I was really angry the other day. So angry I want to scream and cry and hit him alot. Not like hitting him would do any damage, I just wanted to. All of the muscles in my body where tense, I felt like I was being eaten away inside. And then all of a sudden it was gone and replaced with this really empty feeling. I dont think I have ever been so angry. I dont want to be angry ever again. It was sick. ... I am disgusted with most of the world. I feel bad about some things that I did, but I wouldnt take any of it back for the world. Well... maybe for the world. in the name of dreaming...