Word of the Day: timorous Today is the very first day in a long long time where I've had Patrick for the day and haven't wound up hating him by this time of the day. He's been bad and good, like always, but my patience hasn't run out. I'm not hoping and praying that JD leaves work early to come and take Patrick from me. I might finally be getting over this whateverness, this impatience maybe, whatever's making me afraid of being alone with my son. And speaking of the little one, he goes to the doctor for a check up and shots on Wednesday. I think he's teething some more--his nose is eternally runny and he's drooling and chewing on things all the time. I can't tell where it's going to come in, but I'm determined to find this fourth one. I haven't found a tooth yet, so I'm on my toes. He always looks so sad, though, with his face and nose all wet and all the noise he makes when he breathes. I just want to cuddle with him all the time, but he doesn't want to. Last night when he was eating dinner he sneezed and he had snot running out of both nostrils. It was hilarious and I was just cracking up, and Patrick was looking at me so sad. It's a good thing JD was feeding him, I probably wouldn't have been able to go on. He's getting better at not really crawling but getting places nonetheless. He does this thing when he's on his hands and knees, he sticks one leg out and it looks like he's either going to sit up on his bottom or stick the other leg out, walk his hands in, and be standing up. But that's just what it looks like; neither is actually possible at the moment. I had a dream the other night. I was, in actuality, laying on my back with my right arm over my head and my left arm on the pillow that I lay next to. I had either just fallen asleep or was in the process of waking, but I saw Patrick laying between my left arm and my body, sleeping and kind of wiggling and getting comfortable. He was there, though, I felt his flesh and his warmth. Either JD moved and roused me or I woke myself, but I didn't feel him anymore and it scared the shit out of me. I immediately and half asleep rolled over and shook JD till he woke up enough for me to ask him where Patrick was. Actually, the conversation went something like this, with me progressively coming to my senses over time-- Me: 'JD, wake up.' JD: 'What?' Me: 'Babe, where's Patrick?' JD, rolling over: 'What?' Me: 'Patrick's in his bed, isn't he? Sleeping?' JD: 'Yeah...' Me: 'Okay, I was dreaming then. Sorry.' JD: 'What?' It was quite disturbing for me, but I think I freaked JD out a lot. JD and I went to the townhouse yesterday to look through the back window and see what we could see. We discovered that the dining area, and therefore all of the house apart from the bathrooms and kitchen, is carpeted. That made me feel oh so good. My little boy will be able to crawl all over without me worring about his little knees getting hurt [excepting when he wanders into the kitchen, but then that'll be his own fault]. And we won't have to walk through a mile of grass and sticker burrs to get to our door, which will lower the amount of dirt and stuff tracked in considerably. Even better for Babeh.