Word of the Day: ameliorate Written at work-- When I got to work today after being off yesterday, everything was rearranged. I keep telling myself to be unconcerned. That I'm not even up here all that much anymore since I'm back and forth to accounting, but it's extremely annoying. Since I turned down the manager position, they're getting another girl, Tracey, to 'supervise'. However, like I said, I'm unconcerned [truely] about that. She's bossy and overbearing, in the friendliest of ways, but I mainly ignore her unless what she does affects me. And, you know, I'm not all that bothered that she rearranged, I'm bothered that what she did flows worse than it did before. That's what I'm annoyed about. Any road, that's not what I want to write about. I had a dream Friday morning that left me anxious. I dreamt that my parents and I were moving back to New Mexico. The thing was I was married with Patrick, but my father was forcing me to leave them and move with him. I don't remember much, but I remember resisting, then I was in the truck with them asking where we were supposed to live and what was I supposed to do about my job [I guess I do care about this place] and my family. I remember being in a Holiday Inn Express and telling my mom that we should work there. Not once did my father look at or speak to me. I woke up a little disconcerted. It had been a very long time since I had dreamt of my parents, and I was thrown for a loop, I guess. However, that quickly passed and I went off to work, not thingking about the dream again until lunchtime. I was at my desk in the office when Terri came to tell me my mom was waiting up front for me. I felt anxious again, but disregarded it. She had come to give me things she thought I'd want to keep that I had left at her house, and she told me she didn't know how much longer she could come to see me. Apparantly, my father got angry because his credit debt is so high and my mother's business isn't making money enough to pay it off as quickly as he wants. So he took away her checkbook and all the money he knew about [she, of course, has a stash] and locked them in his gun safe. She told him that she hates what she's doing, this damned business that he bought for her so that she could fund his ambitions, and he said to her, 'Well, if you're not doing this business-- --then what use are you to me?' I love my mother so much. She's spent so much of her life living it for someone else because her will is so weak that it's hard for her to do things for herself. And as much as I want her to be close to me and to see Patrick grow up, I told her that she had better call my grandad and let him know that she's on her way. I want her to be as far away from that worthless, selfish bastard as possible. When she told me what he said, I was so angry, I imagined myself slamming an axe into his face. I'm still angry--my hands are shaking and my heart hurts [it's what happens when I get truely angry or scared]. The only reason she's stayed so far was first because of me, then because of Patrick. I've told her and told her to go, to do what's best for her, but she's weak and used me and Patrick as an excure. I understand being scared of the future, especially in your fifties, but enough is enough. Hopefully, in the next month of so, she'll be back home in Louisiana and my idiot father will be alone to think of how he drove off nearly all of his immediate family and to drink himself into his grave. I know that's not very good or just to think that way about my own father, but he's just been too selfish and domineering for so long that I feel that I can honestly say that I don't care about him one bit. End of work writings. I didn't proof for spelling or grammar, but I never do.