Word of the Day: hermitage I've been hanging out/sleeping without any pants on lately. I bet I look really funny with my belly all hanging out. Although, and so I told JD last night, now that my belly's so big my thighs look a lot smaller. A+ I still drop things a lot and I still forget things a lot more and I still have a really really short attention span. I hope I'll get back to normal before school starts in August [for me]. JD said he wanted to take an art history class next semester. I told him I'd help him study. Anything, anything at all, to make me feel academic again, to feel like I'm learning something again. I miss school so much it's unbelievable. I'm latching on to this new system for work like it's school, taking notes, practicing, reading the book. I started reading Mansfield Park again, but not the book, the introduction. Yes, I'm reading the introduction first. I just feel as if I'm meant for that life, to be an academic-type, although I never really fit into the academic crowd at UD. Studying for pleasure-now that's a novel concept. I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore. I don't have a clear understanding of it. There are contradicting feelings here-the love of learning and school on the one hand, and the strong feeling I've always had of loyalty to a family, to my family that I'm in the process of making now. Sometimes I feel as if it's wrong to do both at the same time because for so long my plan [The All-Mighty, Powerful, and Holy Plan] was to finish school all the way and then start a family. But now, now things are just topsy-turvy, and I still feel wrong about going to school and leaving my child with someone else. Maybe it'll be easier then, maybe my mind will be clearer and more steady. But now, I can't think straight about anything for too long. I love you, my Baby. I wonder sometimes what you're doing in there, whether you're sleeping or hanging our or listening to the story I'm telling your daddy. I just hope you're doing well.