I've been trying to start writing my paper on 'Moby-Dick' and I haven't gotten far. I've chosen a chapter to write on, found a topic in that chapter that's semi-intriguing, underlined some quotes I'd like to have in there. And that's about it. This paper, it's so hard to write. In class, we haven't really gone over useful things about the book, things I could go off of for my paper. And it's the first real LitTrad-type paper this semester, and I'm always nervous for that. I'm never sure, when I start writing that first Trad paper of the semester, quite what I'm doing, if I'm remember what MacMil taught me, if my current professor is going to like it. It's so hard to find motivation, especially with so many good movies in close proximity. Kim had a dinner thing tonight. She went rather elaborate with this thing; she sent out invitations and everything. It was actually a very nice evening. There were about twenty of us at the peak time, all chattering and laughing and eating and listening to Tejano music. Eventually things dwindled down and the crowd became a couple of handfulls, and then there were six. Kim, Barry, Renee, Ben Little, Kate, Becky, and I sat in a little circle and talked about many things. It was very nice. Things now are so much more different than this time last year. I was...I don't like to say it, but I was anti-social. I still am, in a way, but I have a few friends and those few give me some confidence to go off of. I was so sad last year about so many things, but I'm not sad anymore. I'm not as afraid to go down to the lounge, sit down with people and watch whatever movie is on. I'm not as afraid to sit with people at a table in the cafeteria. I still don't do it very often, but I want to show people that I'm nice and fun to be around, if they'd only give me a chance. Just because I'm not like Kellie or Tommy doesn't mean I'm not fun. Just because I came from a tiny public school doesn't mean I don't have incitful things to say. I'm just not the best conversationalist at UD.