i've noticed i only make updates in the morning, for some reason i guess i'm more motivated to write when i wake up. anyways yesterday was fun. i went out with my parents to this chinese place, and this song by Aphex Twin called Milkman has been stuck in my head for the past week or so, and it is the f u n n i e s t thing ever, so seriously go download it. but i saw this guy there that looked like Aphex Twin, and i just about spit all my food out. :) then we went to Dick's for something, which got me even more stoked for spring since there was all these shorts out. my favorite part was going to Barnes & Nobles though. my family is the loudest ever, and ya know most people go to Starbucks to relax in a QUIET atmosphere.. not when we arrive. i think my mom must have read every single book title outloud, laughed the loudest she's ever laughed, and mocked about everyone in there. it was histarical to say the least. anyways i got my Surflife magazine and transworld skateboarding and went into the kids section to read and drink my caramel macchiato. it was hella serene, i felt like the only person in the place and it was calming and quiet, since i escaped from my parents, haha. but the reason my mood is homesick is because i miss the beach so much.. after i bought Surflife and read every single page i just realized more and more how this place is horrible for me. sure, everyone wants to live by a beach and have the "surfer girl" image, at least everyone in my school does. but none of them have actually set foot on a surf board, and none of them realize the spiritual level of surfing is beyond getting tan and being in the ocean. they just want the image. i could write an entire book on the spiritual level of surfing, and they would close the book after the second page. whatever, i just want out of here. i want to travel. i want to be a guest editor of surflife and photograph Banzai, Australia, and Costa Rica. living here increases my motivation. getting up every morning and freezing to death, looking out the window to disgusting snow, and having dry itchy skin? it motivates me to do better in school so that i will be leaving. mm.. when i close my eyes, i can feel the ocean breeze, i can smell the salty air, the rough sand inbetween my toes. the sandpaper feel of the surfboard thats just been freshly waxed under your arm, with your left hand covering the top of your eyelids, looking out at the sets... i am o v e r this place.