how bout i just dont have friends or anything i might get attached to because low and behold, that thing or person will be stripped from myself anyway. it's fun, no it really is. to be in a place where you thought you made a good decision by getting rid of one person, only to find yourself lost from another. i can never win. so it IS fun, it really IS. i havent seen neil in almost a week, hes not in my study hall anymore i guess. so that sucks big time because i looked forward to study hall 1st & 2nd semester but 3rd & 4th are apparently going to suck fucking ass. i think it might be time to pay the psychologist a visit. i dont want this to all build up again then explode on me when i least expect it. gawd this entry sounded so emo. * * * * sleepless night. thank you.