i'm thinking last night had to be one of the worst nights i can remember having in a hell of a long time. i felt like shit all day, i was in a pretty bad mood most of the day too. my grama took me to the mall so i could get a skirt quickly because i guess i decided dressing up would be fun //wrong// and i got this way comfy skirt at Mandee's and yeah. i got home and i didn't expect my dad to be there and he lets me in and he's like "you only use her when you need something" and he pretty much only talks to me when he's insulting me and not to mention my grama is like my life and i cried for about 45 minutes. after he left lorin picked me up and we all got ready at brenda's. we did my hair so that my bangs were over to the side & it looked hotttt. lorin's friends from Owego were being assholes to us, except the one amazingly tall sophomore from UE, he was pretty sweet. we saw matt and jen in matt's car and i was laughing so hard, i didn't expect them to be there. everything was just so fucking lame at the dance, everyone was so gay and matt and jen were a l l over each other for the whole entire dance.. i didn't expect it to bother me.. but boy was i wrong. i felt so fucking invisible all night. we were chillen with Rachel, Emilee, Alex, Matt Powell (funniest kid everrrrrrr// i'll never forget the black muscle shirt guy's dance that he imitated,ROFL) Kyle K and Katelynn, which was pretty fun but i felt so out of place. we were calling Flo & Bean for like 2 hours to come get us but the roads were hella bad last night as it SNOWED out of nowhere, and they got stuck in a ditch somewhere haha. but to top it off someone i never in a million trillion years would have guessed would be there was there. Mike. Mike is a whole other story that i'll explain sometime, but to make a long story short, it's this guy i was sort of together with last year, the one and only guy who was completely in love with me and i felt next to nothing for, and whom i blew off for Matt. he would not talk to me at all, he gave brenda a hug and pretended not to see me, which is completely my fault anyway. it just hurt though, i cared about him, of course. but i was so fucking in love with matt last year i wouldn't let anyone get in the way of my feelings. i blew off something that could have been one of the greatest things in my life, all to have the thing i thought WAS my life blow ME off. after that i became completely apathetic for the rest of the night. i saw matt and jen kissing and i pulled the wrench out of my heart seeing as though i'm not fucking going to compare myself to some little wholesome fucking freshman girl with the same name as me. so after the dance we went home and went to denny's with lorin and her friends and met flo & bean there, funniest guys ever. we laughed for about an hour or so then just went home and slept til 12:30 haha. i'm about to go home now though so i'll be writing later. u g h .