I know it happen awhile ago and now its down and over with now and I should not mention it to anyone again. But it still hurts and hunts me every now and then. I have been going out with tyler for 11 months and four days. Happy or sad? You tell me.. I honeslty love him with all my heart. But when it comes to how much he loves me his passion comes up short.. If you really love someone would you not, not talk to them for a week and give no reason why? He has NO CLUE How much that hurt me he has no clue how much I actually cry. I try to hide it I hate showing weakness. That happen over the summer I remember like it was yesterday sunday night and I was and had been upset for awhile I been acting distant and sad when I went to talk to him about how I felt like he didn't care and didn't love me he said how much he loved me and how much I ment and he needed a night to think things over on how to make it better...monday came no call no answer suprise suprise.. I really wasent he has pulled that shit before.. All up untill friday he didn't call only because I talked to our friend bradon cause I was really upset and even he said that it was fucked up. To help bradon called me number and toss the phone back to tyler he wasent even nice to me on the phone... I was with one of my friends in her car freaking out on him.. I almost left him that night.. Later that night he called me while I was at a party and he was too saying how much he missed me and how much he wasnted to see me I wasent buying it tho cause he was the only one at the party that didn't have some bitch around to suck on. That's how I really felt so my friend and I after our party go to her house to sleep I put my phone on silent and when I woke 20 missed calls and voice mails all from tyler he walked from his friends house to my friends house to see me at like three in the morning I didn't care tho I was actually suprise he got off his lazy ass for once to do something nice for me once. I saw him later that saturday.. And we made up. I'm not making it up when I say I love him I really do with all my heart we just have a lot of issues or maybe I just do idk. I try so fucking hard to make it all better make things work out it always falls apart and he dosent seem t try. I don't won't to lose him I have tried so hard I can't give up now. I just wish he would understand how badly it hurts me when he dose shit like that. There are times when I'm alone and these memories pass thru my mind and I can't help but just cry. I try so hard to not but I just end up crying more. Tyler means so much to me and its hurts so so bad when he dosent seem to feel the same way about me. Yesterday was horrible actually this whole week has been. I had my senior pictures yesterday and I had like a meltdown while getting ready I felt like no matter what I wore I looked gross and ugly I'm really happy my sister was there for me. I don't undertsand why I'm getting like this. Something I never told anyone, one night I was so upset I cried myself to sleep while tyler was right next to me. Either way I'm fucked I lose tyler ill be sad I'm with with and sad.... I'm not sad all the time with him sometimes were so wonderful and I'm so happy. I feel like I deserve what I get in life so I deserve tyler and all he little defaults. He really means the world to me I love him more than anyone can imange. I don't want to lose him and I don't want to break up or go on break. I just don't want I ca do anymore.. Things wernt always like this.