I have four guys right now who want to "take me out" sad part is I don't want any of them. Well I thought I wanted one and I still kinda do I am just so unsure right now it's not funny. (For some reason I still got this one guy from my past in my head I just can't shake out, but it will never happen)

Anyway the one who I might give a chace is a really sweet and nice guy but It's like he is too nice, almost as if he is TOO good for me, It's just so weird maybe it's just because I am not used to romance, the flowers, the nice candle light dinners its just too much. I don't know. I guess I am just a different type of lady. I am so confused I don't want to break anymore hearts.

I just get so turned off when a guy gets really into me so soon, ya know? It's weird because most girls like that, but I don't. Why? I don't know. Maybe I just like the rush of the chase? Playing cat and mouse, I don't want to rush into anything, Yes it's sweet to have him ask me, "How's your day going" or "how was work" and all that but it comes to a point where I get scared, I feel like he is falling to hard and fast. That freaks me out.

Has the five year loveless relationship I was in killed my capability to love? Or at least have feelings for someone? Why am I so worried about attachment, I think it's because I know now that nothing lasts forever I though I would love and be with Tyler forever but the love died, our spark died. And that will happen with the next guy and the next guy, and all the pain I caused Tyler I don't want to cause someone else? Who knows. Have I lost the ability to have a relationship? If anyone out there is reading this please I am at a lost here, should I just stop talking to these guys? I don't want to lead them on, so far I am just being friendly. SIGH