I don't know how I really feel right now to be honest, I don't care anymore. Everything I have done has been nothing but a waste of time. Everything I have done has done nothing to help me, everything I have done has only been about everyone els, I was so worried now I have nothing. All my hard work all that time and nothing to show for it. I'm in my own waste land and I have no one to blame but myself. I dug this grave and now I must start back from step one. I have a long track to run to catch up and I only have so much time. I can no longer hold on to the past. I have to forget everything and relearn it all over again.