And there I was, thinking things were getting better, thinking I was actually happy and over it. Thinking that I didn't care, that it dosen't hurt, thank I'm ok, that I'm not just a loser.I just can't do it anymore, I just can't. It's so unfair, why must it hurt this much? Why must I care? I knew life was nver going to be easy for me, but I never thought it would be this hard. I never thought I would be hurt this much, let down this much, hated this much. What's the point? I try so hard, I am so very tired. It's a cycle, the same thing over and over again. (again I'll say) What's the point? All for nothing.....

Boy did I have myself fooled, I was so very blind. There's nothing, nothing. I just want it to go away. I really don' tknow what I do wrong.

I am just so annoyed, Today has not been good, tomorrow probably wont be any better. All I wanted to do and have been trying to do it give him his freaking Birthday gift, I just want it out of my house and out of my car just take it and go, for the love of GOD. I hate it, I don't get why he's such an asshole to me. He must really hate me apparently.

And I did meet someone else. but I fell he's another one, he dosen't care, no one will ever care. I just want to be happy. To forget all this stupid crap, and just be happy. I'm not trying anymore.