dad?

Listening to: afi
Feeling: incomplete
Live with my Dad? That's idk, how come you keep on talking about my dad anyway? I don't think I could or should even live with my Dad. Its really hard to explain everything and would take forever and a year to write everything so ill just sum it up for all of you. My Mum left him for a reason and that reason is he put drinking before us. And he is kinda sour after everything went down. But for the most part he is sober now. Don't get my wrong my Dad is my Dad and I will love him no matter what, I won't lie I miss him sometimes. I miss fishing out on the boat, having bbq's, going to the pond with chance and playing till dusk (chance is my dog which we still have) Actually chance was picked out by me and him. So yes their are good memories with him. But their is also really bad ones. Comming home late at night yeling at all of us, hurting chance till he cried, I still remember when he called me up on the day of my birthday last year, and I hadent heard from him for a few months. He wanted to go out with me and my sister and got mad and yelled at me when I told him I had plans today and said we could do that tomorrow. I mean it was my birthday who dosent have plans already made? I even said I was sorry and he hung up on me. Its not my fault my their not together anymore. So I don't understand why he is so mad. He got to take what he wanted and got a good end of the deal. So I just don't undersatnd sometimes. Another reason why I couldent live with him is I don't want to and he lives in florida and on cape. And I don't want to live in florida. And I don't want to be going back and forth all the time. It would also be awarked with him gf or so called new wife their. And she has kids too, which I have never met so idk its weird.
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your dad sounds like mine. we are friends now, or we try to be. and i will always love him because is my daddy but it doesn.t erase all the terrible times or hurtful things he has said, either. the alcoholism is hard to deal with i.m here & i can relate if ever you need a friend.
i think this is just a conversation i.m not going to like. i might just tell him i don.t want a roommate. so far that is mybest bet. no way in hell after the shit he has pulled lately is he going to live with me. i think he.s going to commit suicide in my house or something. that.s just too much for me. and so is worrying about it, ya know? i.m going there to focus on myself now that i.m single and i don.t want to have to babysit someone else.
i don.t know i guess it.s just very awkward and i have to face the music at some point, sooner rather than later. blah. haha.