Today should be a happy day, today I should be all smiles, it's my 23 Birthday and all I feel is sadness, I have so many people in my life who love and care about me and yet I still have this empty feeling in my soul, I feel so alone. He won't even speak to me, to be honest I am amazed he even wrote Happy Birthday on my facebook but he still wont answer a text or a message. I guess it's really over. After everything, I'm all alone today, as it should be as it will always be.

I didn't want to feel like this today, I didn't want to cry, I'm trying so hard, why won't this pain just go away, why can't I just be happy, why can't I be good enough? Will I ever be loved? I can't take this much longer..... I just want to be happy, I want to feel ok. That's all I want for my Birthday just to talk to him but that will not happen, I.. hate this.

Please, make this pain go away. I just want to be ok again.