I just can't believe my life sometimes

So0o0o I thought today was going to be just kinda blah when I woke up, I would of taken the boring blah day over the day I had. The gym was great was there for three hours, felt amazing, was getting good tips from Laura, was in a good mood, found some new music then at two the gym closed and I had to leave.

That's when shit hit the fan, On the way home the bungee cord holding my front bumper on snapped and my bumper pretty much fell off, its horrible my poor car it looks horrible. I am so mad because Monday, next week was when I was gonna get it fixed, The shop was getting the parts is I already have the appt made and everything and it just needed to last a little more, and now this.

FREAKING A, now I have to go back to the shop tomorrow they need to look at it again to make sure no more damage was caused... and they might take it in early, but I'm screwed cause I need my car till Monday past monday I am all set for rides and everything I need, I had everything planned so well, now I'm trying to figure out all this crap last min got to work it around my three jobs, cooking, cleaning, bills, my crazy family. I still need to workout and trying not to be upset about ..... well Him........ shesesh, I need a break. Everything is kinda falling apart, well it has been falling apart and just when i thought it was getting back together a earthquake hit...

I was just finally starting to get over that horrible night with that prick, I thought I was getting my best friend back and new jobs were opening up and my car was gonna get fixed, now I feel even worse about that night, the person who I thought i was gonna be best friends with again now actually hates my guts and probably wants me to dtop dead and would be happy that I am this upset, because "I deserve it" and now my car might need even more work and take more time, please lord no more bad luck, please, good karma please. I have done good things, I have helped people, I'll do more, anything, just please make it stop.

My heart is already broken, I pretty much hate everything about myself, no one will ever love me, all men treat me like shit, my own family can't stand me, I'm always sick, and I'm never good enough... isnt that enough bad shit? Can't there be just a little bit of good stuff?

There has to be, no one should suffer this much, something good is going to happen, I know it.

I have been looking for new job, had some more money saved was finally feeling liike I was moving up and towards my goal, now I am like four steps back....

But it will be ok, everything will be ok.